As I like to remind anyone who will listen, I take enormous pride in my gift-giving abilities. If you want some background on this talent of mine, read this, the post that catapulted me to fame as one of the Voices of the Year in the category of humor for BlogHer ’12.
And this Father’s Day, here we are again, facing another occasion for which I must produce a gift for Jeff. And, of course I have lots of great things to say about Jeff, but let me sum up my thoughts by sharing my therapist’s warning after my third date with Jeff: “Be prepared for Jeff to be better than you at everything.”
“Everything?” I inquired.
Is my therapist clairvoyant? Yes, Internet, he is. Because it’s true that Jeff is better at most things than I am, and because it’s Father’s Day, I am going refrain from telling you the things that I am actually better at doing than Jeff. Except one: I am a better gift giver. (Ask me about our first Christmas when I thought I was getting some bling bling, but I got an electric toothbrush instead. Good times that December 25. He claims I asked for the toothbrush, which is technically true, but he should have known I was
lying trying to look anti-materialistic, and what I really wanted was something sparkly, not something to make my teeth sparkly.)
Here’s what I got this Father’s Day for Jeff, who famously proclaims, “I don’t need anything; I don’t want anything.” But, Jeff, you need and want this:
A commemorative t-shirt from the lesser-known Maurice Sendak book, In The Night Kitchen, featuring soft fabric, heathery-blue hue, slightly kitschy message, and a very Father-centric vibe. It’s a great gift for a great father.