Since I get
all most of my news from Twitter these days, I knew within seconds when Roger Federer and Serena Williams won their respective titles at Wimbledon. However, I was only vaguely interested in Federer (sorry, he’s not as hot at Nadal) and Serena Williams (who got my undivided attention in 2009 when she went all ape shit on her line judge).
I should probably also candidly admit that I don’t know shit about tennis.
But, on the back end of Wimbledon 2012, I can’t stop thinking about Venus Williams. I don’t know what she was up to this past weekend, but I do know what she was NOT doing: moving her set of Encyclopedia Britannicas to make room for a new shiny trophy.
Ah, sister issues. I got ’em.
I find myself always sympathizing with the sister who is not on top– the boring old Tina Yothers to the much cuter Justine Bateman from Family Ties. Who’s Tina Yothers, you ask?
That’s exactly my point.
And I have a great relationship with my sister. My only complaints are that I wish we could see each other more often, and I wish she would get on Facebook.
We are opposites: she’s private (which is why I am not posting a picture of her), where I am pretty public (see this blog); she knows how to keep a secret, and I have this blog, which is basically my blabbermouth manifesto. She is making a run for partnership in her competitive, male-dominated field, whereas I gave the partnership track the finger and took a seat under a shade tree so I could sip some Crystal Lite and detox from corporate life BS. Oh, and spend time with my children.
Of our relationship to our professions, both of us have said tearfully, “I don’t know if I am doing the right thing.”
And, sometimes I find myself trying to figure out if I am Venus or Serena, Justine Bateman or Tina Yothers. Yes, it’s absurd to use a 80’s sitcom as a template for my life, but at least I am not sitting here talking to you about Bosom Buddies.
I could tell my sister all of this, and she would understand it completely. Who knows better than she how competitive I am with everyone in the world, including and especially her?
But, this is a slightly larger problem because I do this in all my relationships with women.
“Are you Tina Yothers or am I?”
“You wanna be Serena or should I take the trophy?”
And as I sit here only 3-ish weeks away from the BlogHer ’12 conference (big blogger gathering in NYC), I am starting to quake with fear about being around THOUSANDS of women all weekend long. All those Serenas. All those Venuses. I don’t even have a sitcom reference for that– Eight is Enough is the closest I can come and that’s about 2,292 NOT enough.
I am starting to see more blog posts about the conference: what to expect and what to bring. I am bringing a carry-on sized Samsonite full of sister issues– a complex medley of “am I good enough?” and “am I the favorite sister?” and “I want to be the best,” which is going to make being with all these accomplished, funny, inspiring, articulate women a little bit distracting for me.
But what’s the alternative? To stay home and avoid the uncomfortable feelings I get when my favorite blogger fails to invite me to see Book of Mormon or have coffee with her? Hide in my room until I am less neurotic?
Anyone else out there with sister issues? Do they ever bring you down, no matter how much you love your sister? Anyone else nervous about BlogHer’12?