At the tender age of 39, I can admit that there are some things I am good at and some things I suck at. I’m fantastic at turning off my blinker after changing lanes, I can clap to the beat of complicated calypso songs, and I can make Velveeta Rotel dip in less than 10 minutes. When it comes to life skills, I have some good ones.
And, I have handicaps– Excel spreadsheets, letting other people talk, and reheating brown rice in a standard microwave– to name a few.
Still, I get by.
But you what I suck at most?
I. Suck. At. Gift. Certificates.
I can never remember to redeem them until they expire. Or I lose them. Sometimes I write to do lists on them, then throw them away once I have completed the items. It’s pathological.
Yesterday, I put a massage gift certificate by my purse before I left the house. I walked 20 minutes to the spa and realized, as I stood by the door, that I had forgotten the gift certificate. Who does that? I couldn’t walk home and back and make my appointment time.
So I got the massage, paid for it, tipped generously and went home to find that unused gift certificate sitting on my bed. I could still see the imprint of my purse (the one I took to the massage) in the comforter. I had put the certificate next to my purse so I could take it with me.
Except I didn’t.
I never do.
And I am even worse at Groupons. Instead of succumbing to those emails promising discounted yoga classes and manicures, I should just set the money on fire. In my hands, it’s the same damn thing.
My husband noted that I now have to get another massage using the gift certificate. Sounds great, if I was normal. But it has to be redeemed by July 2013, and I don’t know if I can remember to put it in my purse some time in the next ten months.