Something I Suck At

At the tender age of 39, I can admit that there are some things I am good at and some things I suck at. I’m fantastic at turning off my blinker after changing lanes, I can clap to the beat of complicated calypso songs, and I can make Velveeta Rotel dip in less than 10 minutes. When it comes to life skills, I have some good ones.

And, I have handicaps– Excel spreadsheets, letting other people talk, and reheating brown rice in a standard microwave– to name a few.

Still, I get by.

But you what I suck at most?

Gift certificates.

I. Suck. At. Gift. Certificates.

I can never remember to redeem them until they expire. Or I lose them. Sometimes I write to do lists on them, then throw them away once I have completed the items. It’s pathological.

Yesterday, I put a massage gift certificate by my purse before I left the house. I walked 20 minutes to the spa and realized, as I stood by the door, that I had forgotten the gift certificate. Who does that? I couldn’t walk home and back and make my appointment time.

So I got the massage, paid for it, tipped generously and went home to find that unused gift certificate sitting on my bed. I could still see the imprint of my purse (the one I took to the massage) in the comforter. I had put the certificate next to my purse so I could take it with me.

Except I didn’t.

I never do.

And I am even worse at Groupons. Instead of succumbing to those emails promising discounted yoga classes and manicures, I should just set the money on fire. In my hands, it’s the same damn thing.

I am incapable of gift certificating in a timely manner.

I am incapable of gift certificating in a timely manner.

My husband noted that I now have to get another massage using the gift certificate. Sounds great, if I was normal. But it has to be redeemed by July 2013, and I don’t know if I can remember to put it in my purse some time in the next ten months.

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34 thoughts on “Something I Suck At

  1. Not many women can get a massage and redeem a gift certificate at the same time. And think of how many massages you can get between now and next July if you retain your knack for forgetting your certificate!

  2. I do this with meat products! I take them to defrost them in fridge. Something comes up we change dinner plans and then I don’t feel like what I have defrosted until the meat is in a questionable state. I toss it out because I don’t want to risk getting sick! This happens once every few months…I always feel really silly and bad for my wallet and the animal that was killed in vain!

    • Me too! I just threw away chicken breasts for the exact same reason. Why can’t I get it right??? It drives me nuts. Then, I forget to take out the trash (and by forget I mean denial), and I have rotting, raw meat in my house. THis must be some sort of cry for help.

  3. OR… you keep all those coupons in your purse (as I do) and STILL forget to use them. Like me you will still be wasting money and have back problems as well.

  4. Right there with ya! I must have psychological aversion to using them cause I never remember. If there ever is a hoarder show for gift cards/certificates/credit slips, I’ll audition. Promise. Yay for another massage for you!

  5. Well, we have one thing in common. I was given a gift certificate for a massage for Christmas last year and I still haven’t used it. And we have one difference. I’m pretty much a God when it comes to Excel spreadsheets. (Don’t know if that’s the kind of thing I should really be bragging about…)

  6. I lose them, and I have coupons on my fridge that I forget to take to the grocery store. But I’ll be honest and admit that most of the time, unless it has my name on it, I regift them. Horrible, right? Oh Lord – I’m so ashamed.

  7. LOL I love this, I am pathetically the same way. I’m not as bad with coupons as I am gift certificates, but pretty close. I like to think that by buying everything at full price because i left my gift card at home, it’s just me doing my part for the economy. Then I feel better about myself.

  8. My problem is gift cards. I remember to use them occasionally but most of the time there is still some money left on them. I can never use it twice though because I can never remember how much is on the card and I don’t want to hand it to them only to be told that, oh “You get 7 cents of this purchase thanks to your gift card” LOL. So I never use them twice (if I remember to use them at all).

  9. So true. gift certificates seem like such a good idea at the time. i like, might as well set the money on fire. :)
    but hey, if that’s what you suck at, you’re doing pretty well.
    (and even an expired gc, you can get credit for, if you go in and play stupid. ;) )

  10. I can’t do groupon because I can’t commit. We had a restaurant.com meal bought for us by a friend. The restaurant is around the corner from our house. We had the certificate for nearly 2 years and then the restaurant closed. I still have the certificate though.

  11. I suck at Groupons too! Bahaha! I bought a gift certificate for ice cream parlor for sons bus driver. Certificate blew out window of bus. Someone in neighborhood found in their yard and returned it to me. I put it on table. Fan blew it off. Dog ate gift certificate. Bus driver quit. Coincidence? I think not. Best bus driver ever too.

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