I think we can all agree that I am a relatively loveable person. Right? I am sure my boss “loves” me like a boss should, because I do my part as an employee. Namely, I show up on time, I teach my class, grade my papers, and bring my firearm to class because I am one of the “good guys.” (FN1)
But, this morning, I sent her the following RSVP email:
Happy New Year! I am confirming that I will be at the meeting on Monday evening. See you then.
Um, what? Love. Yep, I sure did give that sign-off that is generally reserved for family members, close relatives, or people with whom I have a personal relationship. While she’s an admirable woman in many ways, I can’t really say that I love her. I mean, I don’t love love her.
Here are my excuses:
- It was 6 AM, and I was still half-asleep.
- Most of the emails I send are to my friends and my husband, so the “Love, Christie” thing works 99% of the time.
- I started a meditation practice that is focused on love, and hey, look! It’s working! I am sending it all over.
That’s it. That’s all I got. I actually used to do this at my law firm too. Except it was worse, because I would do it on the phone. I was so used to getting off the phone with Jeff by saying, “love you,” that I did it a few times with junior associates, which is less embarrassing than saying it to a partner who has sketchy sexual boundaries, but also? it was possibly sexual harassment to say it to the junior, male associate who was drafting a brief with me. In those cases, I would call right back and say, “OHMYGODIAMSOSORRY! I thought you were my husband,” or something equally likely to inspire respect from associates I supervised.
But this is my first “love” slip to a superior and it was over email. And I am attending that meeting tonight, but all I can do is obsess about whether to engage her in a super awkward conversation where I tell her that I didn’t mean to sign my professional email with “Love, Christie.” I am thinking I will just pretend I didn’t do it, and pray that maybe she doesn’t read her emails any closer than I do.
I am open for suggestions, stories that assure me that I am not the only one who gets sloppy with the email sign-offs, or a good shaming– I think I am due for one of those. Give me what you got!
FN1: I do not have a firearm, do not believe in owning a firearm and have nothing very nice to say about the NRA or its position on how to make schools safer. I am, however, retreating to sarcasm, because it got me through the 80s.