The Onion: Outlaw Mama, Congratulations on one year of blogging. That’s amazing. So few mothers have taken to blogging. I am so glad someone finally started a Mommy blog.
Outlaw Mama: I know, right? It’s like all these mothers were just sitting around with snippets of free time and no one thought to start creating on-line community until I came along.
The Onion: It sure looks like Mommy blogging might become a thing. I read somewhere that you said you did for Mommy blogging what Al Gore did for the Internet.
Outlaw Mama: That’s right. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
The Onion: So in these past 12 months, what have you learned?
Outlaw Mama: Nothing.
The Onion: Wow. Nothing? Not one thing?
Outlaw Mama: No, I didn’t learn anything. I was already an awesome writer and a near-perfect mother. I didn’t really have anything to learn.
The Onion: Didn’t you at least learn how to Tweet a few months ago?
Outlaw Mama: Funny story about Twitter. I actually invented that too.
The Onion: I see. Well, you seem pretty open on your blog. Is there anything your readers don’t know about you?
Outlaw Mama: There are a few things. I might as well say it now: I have never been to Costco.
The Onion: What? Never? But you talk about it–
Outlaw Mama: All the time. I know. I do. Which, if you think about it, is super imaginative, because, like I said, I’ve never been there.
The Onion: Anything else?
Outlaw Mama: Most of my readers don’t know that I am actually a single man who lives in the Everglades. I have no children. I have never even held a baby.
The Onion: Why the ruse?
Outlaw Mama: I thought becoming a Mommy blogger would be a good way to meet chicks.
The Onion: Did it work?
Outlaw Mama: Sort of but it gets awkward when they meet me in person and are all “ooh, he’s so penis-y! He’s not even a mom.” Mothers, as you know, can be very judgmental.
The Onion: Do you have any advice for aspiring Mommy bloggers out there?
Outlaw Mama: I would say just be yourself.
The Onion: That means a lot coming from you.
Outlaw Mama: Oh, one other piece of advice.
The Onion: Yes?
Outlaw Mama: Wait until year two to release your sex tape.
The Onion: Is that something your readers can expect in the next year?
Outlaw Mama: Definitely. I am just working on some production issues, but it’s in the works.
The Onion: Great. Congratulations again.
Outlaw Mama: Thanks.