Lots of stuff has happened in my parenting before I was ready. Examples? Teeth on my nursing babies. Repeating curse words after hearing Mommy say them
all the time once. Getting in trouble during dance class for “not paying attention.”
Those little surprises have kept me on my toes from Day 1, and I am learning to roll with them. Except for the ones that involve my pre-kindergarten children acting like teenagers. No one told me that eye rolling and looks that convey Mom, you are so STUPID would start so soon. And I don’t like it. On the one hand, I have a daughter who is scared to get into a swimming pool, but thirty minutes later she can tell me how lame it is that I don’t know all the words to The Green Grass Grows All Around.
And who’s the genius who taught my kids to throw around the word “HATE”? You know what I have for that person? I have a standing invitation for that person to come to my house and hang out with my kids from the hours of 5-7 PM on the days when neither of them naps, but both have been slipped some super sugary snack. Yeah, come on over and spend some time in the darkest rung of hell, then let’s talk about the appropriate vocabulary for preschoolers. (For a few more choice thoughts about being a hater in my house, click here.)
To cope, I am taking shelter in rage and indignation that my children think it’s ok to say that they “hate” Willie Nelson’s music (unforgiveable offense) or that they “hate” what I cook for dinner (understandable, but still not cool).
But really, I’m sad. I don’t want to hear about hate, and I don’t want it directed at me (or Willie), even though I am committed to supporting them in expressing their anger.
To my ears, there’s something particularly hurtful and cutting about the word “hate.” And while I am sure there is plenty in their little worlds to hate (see, e.g., eating my “cooking”, having to brush their teeth every night, being stuck in the car with only 7 Willie Nelson CDs, etc.), I was still hoping that we had some hate-free years ahead of us.
But we don’t. So here are some synonyms I’ve offered them:
VERBS: abhor, scorn, digust, loathe, resent, repulsed, repelled, object to, revile
What about you? Do your young children say they hate you? Does it pierce your very soul?