I just violated my cardinal rule to NEVER EVER answer a phone call if I do not recognize the number. There is a reason why we have rules, people.
I answered the phone and I knew immediately that I had made a grave mistake. It was the admissions office of a school where I just declined admission for Sadie, mostly because we were scared of all the people at the school– the teachers, the administrators and the other families. Before I could even begin to berate myself in my head for my mistake, I realized the admissions lady was asking me where we are sending Sadie to school.
Internet, I lied. I stood in my bathroom and lied like the little people pleaser that I am. So much for self-awareness and years of recovery. All that vaporized as I started explaining how we were “fairly certain” we were moving to the suburbs. Her voice had a pleasant lilt and a very gentle interrogation style; there was no need to lie. I am pretty sure she is not going to lose sleep just because her future star pupil (Sadie) has decided to move to Downer’s Grove, allegedly.
It’s terrible karma to lie, but I just couldn’t tell her that I was too scared of her and her institution. I couldn’t form the words to say that we found a better fit, which is really an aspirational statement at this point. I told her that we loved her school (more lies) and that if we decided to return to the (big, bad) city, we would contact her as “soon as we hit the ground.”
Internet, I laid it on pretty thick. Probably too thick. If you are going to lie, though, I guess it’s best to just go big. She did end our pleasant conversation by saying she would welcome an application from us at any time in the future. Would it have been better if I said, “how long after hell freezes over will you accept my application?”
Next time, maybe next time.