Going Home; Feeling Fat

Is it just me, or is there something about going back to where you grew up that makes you feel fat?

I don’t exactly understand it (and the parts I do understand don’t belong in this blog, they belong in therapy), but coming back to Texas gives me the worst case of “fat head.” Intellectually, I know my body is fine– been thinner, been thicker — but when I step foot here, I can’t feel the truth of my size. Sometimes, I think it’s related to the fashion-conscious atmosphere in Dallas. Sometimes, I think it’s the weight of memories distorting my thinking. I always leave Chicago thinking “surely it won’t happen this time.” Then, as wheels hit the tarmac, the first of many body-centric thoughts follow: “hmmm, I think I feel fat.”

Anyone else grapple with body image issues intensifying when you go “home”?

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8 thoughts on “Going Home; Feeling Fat

  1. I think we return to the best and the worst of ourselves when we go home. When I am with my family, I am at my most comfortable, like fitting into my favorite slippers. And yet, I can also feel like I am back in my place in my family dynamic, and all the baggage and learned behaviors that came with that place start rising back up in me again…my youngest-child-by-far insecurities and selfishness sort of hover around me. Maybe one of these days I’ll grow up enough to push all that aside and just feel the good stuff. Hopefully soon, since I live so close to my family!
    Wish I could see you while you are here! Hope you enjoy your time here and watching your children experience it all.

    • So true, the best and worst! I was wondering about people who live close to their families. I may stroll through the old high school today. Such a trip with the kids in tow!

      • OMG, Northpark is the ultimate self-esteem killer, ha, ha!! BTW, the Nordstrom Rack across the highway from Northpark is where it’s at…in case you haven’t been there!

  2. T nailed it, I think. When I’m home, I let it all hang out: I’m comfortable and cozy and then I bicker with my brothers like we were kids all over again.

    My husband and I are giving some thought to moving back to the state where I grew up. I suppose I should think about the potential permanent-regression thing before we do!

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