City Life: Lock Up Your Deodorant

How hard should it be to go to the drug store and get deodorant? It should be easy enough, even if you pushed your 14-month old to do that one extra errand despite the fact that he (and you) were over-hungry.

But when I made my way down the deodorant aisle yesterday with Simon, I found all of it locked up like condoms or former governors of Illinois.


So I tried all the locks, and when that failed I looked around for a sales associate to break free some Secret for me. Guess how many Wal-Greens associates it takes to open the super secured deodorant cabinets. I have no idea because I never found a single one to help.

I didn’t have heaps of extra time to scour the aisles for someone with key privileges to assist me, because a over-hungry baby is like a time bomb. (And an over-hungry mom with pit stains is like a stick of homemade dynamite with a 1 centimeter fuse.) I finally just grabbed a minuscule travel-sized anti-perspiration stick and went to check out.

“How come the deodorant is locked up?” I asked the check-out lady. “Because people steal it and sell it on the black market for cheap.”

Who is engaging in this crime ring? Who is buying Old Spice from a petty crook, who no doubt wears an over-sized trench coat that has deodorant hanging on the inside of it? Whoever keeps this cycle of crime going, you need to know it is not a victimless crime– I have suffered the effects of missing the sweet spot of feeding Simon for which I paid the price for the next 17 hours. I hope you get caught and must endure the maximum sentence allowed by law.


7 thoughts on “City Life: Lock Up Your Deodorant

  1. What?! I am totally clueless when it comes to crime waves, apparently, but deodorant? Seriously?

    Around here, it’s the Sudafed that’s been moved behind the counter because it can be used to make crystal meth. But deodorant? Still trying to wrap my brain around that one.

    Hope your travel sized version is doing the trick!

  2. Have you seen those guys hanging out in the median on Western selling socks to people in cars? Maybe they have a deodorant side business. As a side note, who buys their socks that way?

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