Pulitzer Prize in Fiction NOT Awarded

Pultizer prize

Not for you, fiction.

Psssst.  United States of America. You are starting to rub me the wrong way.

Seriously. I gotta worry about that irrelevant nutcase Ted Nugent offing the President (because what’s more American than wanting to kill its legitimately elected leader).  Then, I hear about the great “fiction snub” of the Pulitzer Prizes for this year.

I should have gone back to bed when Simon took a poop in the shower at 8:00 a.m. (Wish I was just adding that for effect; I’m not, it actually happened.)

No Pulitzer Prize for fiction this year.  I heard the news yesterday on the radio, but naturally assumed I had mis-heard that there were NO prizes for fiction awarded.  That’s impossible, I thought, as I swerved to avoid hitting a bicyclist without a helmet.  I don’t live in a country that would withhold a national honor from writers and the public.  I dismissed it as my bad hearing, a result of listening to Cypress Hill too loudly on my iPod.

Nope. I was wrong and my hearing is still in tact.  Whoever is on the panel that decides such things declined (for the 11th time since 1917) to award a winner in fiction.  And I am pissed.  Because even though I was battling post-partum depression and sore nipples for most of the year, I read some amazing books that deserve to be honored. (There were three finalists in line for the PP: Karen Russell’s Swamplandia, Denis Johnson’s Train Dreams, and David Foster Wallace’s The Pale King.)

More importantly, I want to live in a country that celebrates imaginative writing as much as it celebrates Angelina Jolie’s 6 kids (or is it 7)?  Is it too much to ask that we spend a little time and space honoring story telling, one of the most ancient rituals of civilization? I am sorry, was Swamplandia not original enough for you? You panelists were so over stories about a decrepit theme park in the Everglades and a strange bird man rapist? God, if I had $100.00 for every time someone tried to tell me about her baby alligator.  (Don’t know what I am talking about? GO READ THE BOOK.)

What about The Marriage Plot? Yes, the ending was a total phone-in, but until those last 5 pages, that was a great story about the landscape of American life.  I admit it wasn’t as good as Middlesex, but shit, that book is a once in a lifetime achievement.  If Tom Hanks can have 15 Oscars, then Jeffrey Eugenides can have at least 2 PPs.

For a brilliant OpEd on this bullshit, read my girl Annie P (Ann Patchett) here. (Her book, State of Wonder, would have been a fine addition to the PP legacy.)

Don’t try pulling the “no prize” card next year, when my four books are coming out, because if I don’t win, I want to at least have someone to punch in the face hate for stealing my prize out from under me.


8 thoughts on “Pulitzer Prize in Fiction NOT Awarded

  1. If I comment on this post then I might actually cry. So I will refrain and just say four words to communicate how I feel about this issue of the PP: INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE.

    You give your kids showers in the morning? Good trick to get your own shower in. Now why havent I thought of that?

    • Oh hell to the yes. I would never shower if I didn’t drag the kids in there with me. Won’t work forever, but a little while longer. I find I get grumpy when I am dirty. Love the Cyprus Hill reference. I expect you to get on that list next year. Also, unrelated, I just realized that Depeche Mode had that song, LIttle 15. Love it!

      • There’s a story behind DM’s Little 15 … have a post lined up all about it. Probably coming next week. May be sooner. Trying to space out the posts about the book. Doesn’t always work though.

  2. You saved my face this a.m. darlin! I was on a field trip with Rhys, talking with a mom who mentioned the Pulitizer fiasco. I was in the know thanks only to you! Will be downloading Swamplandia thanks to you too – how could I resist a ‘strange bird man rapist’? Surely a juicy commission check will be on its way to you from Ms. Russell.

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