A Mother’s Day Plea

You know what holiday is just too damn commercial?

Mothers Day.

I am serious.  I don’t want flowers; flowers are for random Tuesdays when you just want to say “I love you.”  I don’t want chocolate, because, frankly, I buy it for myself. (And then hide it so I won’t eat it and then forget where it is and buy it again.  And so on.  Some days this is my only exercise. Don’t take that away from me.) I don’t need an expensive spa treatment.  Well, actually maybe I do need that, but it’s not at the top of my list. So save your money.

You know what I want? I want to go to the bathroom by myself. I want time alone in my house during the day when I can do whatever I want: watch the OWN Network, take a shower, watch videos on YouTube, read Fifty Shades of Gray.

Everything I want is free, none of it wilts and makes a mess in a vase I will have to clean up later, and none of costs vital Weight Watchers points.

I don’t even need all day. Just a few quiet hours.  I want to celebrate being a mom by not having to mother anyone for a few hours.  Ironic? Maybe.  I don’t care.

I would be more than happy to reunite with Jeff and the kids after some ME time, but only if they take me to this once-in-a-lifetime-event: Dee Snider, Twisted Sister frontman and author (apparently), appearing at Costco for a book signing.

Come on.  It’s the hardest job in the world. I deserve this.

Mother's Day Treat

Mother’s Day Treat: One More Reason To Loathe Love Costco




18 thoughts on “A Mother’s Day Plea

  1. I am giggling because I too do not want to receive a bunch of crap for Mother’s Day, and yes, alone time might well be the most special of all things we could receive. Certainly I would love to take an uninterrupted shower!!

  2. I loved this!
    No matter where we live, our parenting styles, or where we come from; our desire to pee with the door closed unites us!
    I hope you get your wish for Mother’s Day!

  3. Oh god, I agree. Mother’s Day is the worst of all the Hallmark holidays.

    I cannot believe Dee Snyder is at Costco. I don’t even know what to say about that.

    This is exactly what I asked for (and received) on my birthday. TIME.For.Me.

  4. I asked my husband to let me sleep in for mother’s day. Really sleep in. Where he gets the kids when they start fussing and takes them somewhere other than my bed. I can’t wait.

  5. I’m offering a free Jazzercise class for moms on mother’s day if you want to come! 8:15 a.m. next sunday in Evanston. Good me-time stuff.

  6. I want to entertain myself. Not my mother-in-law. And by entertain myself, I’m not talking about battery-operated devices. I’m talking a bottle of champagne, in my pajamas, with a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle in the dining room. And Skittles. I ask for so little (*sigh*)

  7. I agree with you. This is the first year I am boycotting Mother’s Day (my kids always mess it up.) I just plan to have Mother’s Days during the year anyday I want. I had a Mother’s Day 2 weeks ago and it was awesome, I may even have another tomorrow.

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