Torpid Nights

Lazy is such a harsh word. I prefer to use the term “disinclined to work” or “torpid” (because I always forget that torpid means lazy so it takes a while for it to register as a criticism).  But, I will admit here and now that there are times when my tasks lack a certain…industry.

Like tonight.

Jeff is out of town.  And, while I certainly planned to whip up a kid-friendly boullabaise for the kids (does a lazy torpid person look up the correct spelling of boullabaise— I think not), the truth is that we ended up eating chips and salsa for dinner.  It’s my own special recipe: pour a jar of salsa (lots of vegetables in there) into a bag of chips (baked, not fried).  “Let’s eat!”  (Check out my upcoming recipe blog titled “You Love Them, But It Sucks To Feed Them Day In And Day Out.”)

And despite all the hand wringing about the evils of screen time for kids because it’s makes children passive learners, my little scholars have their fair share of screen time.

Active Engagement: The Pursuit of Knowledge

Active Engagement: The Pursuit of Knowledge (For the record, they were watching a video on the latest developments in string theory.)

But as it’s practiced in my house, there’s nothing passive about screen time.  If the screen time haters could only see how active Simon has to be to get so much as a glimpse of that screen while Sadie controls the iPad.  He has to thrust himself across the bed and wrestle her with his significant body weight just to see the screen, much less touch it or pick out a video.  I have to mop his tender brow after five minutes of so-called “passive” screen time.

And, Sadie too– underneath her mane of tendrils, she’s got a super-charged brain that appears utterly devoted to convincing me to let her watch the iPad. “Mom, I have a good idea.  How about you clean up those pancakes covered in syrup that I just threw on the floor, while I watch the iPad!”  Or, “Mom! I have an idea. While you clean up all the lipstick I smeared on the bathroom rug and all over Simon, how about I watch the iPad?” I see her thriving in the world of televangelism.

I would also love to say that I put Simon in Sadie’s pajamas because I want to raise my kids in a gender-neutral household where Sadie can wear blue pajamas and Simon can wear pink ones.  The truth is that Simon is wearing Sadie’s pajamas tonight because we were all upstairs getting ready for bed, and all of Simon’s pajamas were downstairs (19 steps and about 4 yards away).  Why should I go to all the trouble when Sadie has about 10 pairs of Hannah Anderssen pajamas (they were on sale at Costco all spring so I bought them all) just sitting there.

It’s not like I put him in a nightgown.

Can someone please remind me to remove this post when Simon reaches the age where he might care about this?  Thanks.

Someone Get Me Away From This Crazy Lady

Can someone get me my masculine pajamas?


16 thoughts on “Torpid Nights

  1. If fighting over who gets to use the iPad, use the laptop, or control the remote control burns calories, my children burn more calories than a marathon runner. Seriously. Love the post! Must remember the word “torpid”. Thanks for that!

  2. My husband read your post and said, “See? SHE cooks and she has two kids, not just one like you.” One person’s torpid is another’s industrious.

  3. Hah, so true. Simon is certainly secure enough in his masculinity to wear any kind of pajamas.

  4. Love this. That mama on the cover of Time has nothing on you, lady!

    You know, torpid is one of those words I always skim right past, assuming that if it were really that important, I’d know what it meant. (Other words like this for me are “ontological” and “verisimilitude”…okay, well now I know what that second one means because I had to google it to see how it was spelled…but I digress…)

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