Sadie: Mommy, can we talk about me now?
Me: Sure, Sweetie. Under my breath–I wasn’t aware of talking about anything else these last 35 months.
Me: What would you like to talk about?
Sadie: My birthday.
Me: Great! Let’s plan your third birthday party. Do you want to go to a bounce house?
Sadie: I like chocolate cupcakes.
Me: Ok, but do you want a party? How about a piñata that you and your friends can assault with a semi-dangerous sawed-off broomstick to make candy rain from the sky? You can all maim each other trying to grab the candy, and then all the parents will hate me for serving a bunch of candy to newly minted three-year-olds? How’s that sound?
Sadie: I really like chocolate cupcakes.
Me: Cupcakes. Got it. Do you want me to hire an alcoholic clown to come and make lame animal balloons for you and your friends?
Sadie: Can the clown bring cupcakes?
Me: How about we let Daddy make the cupcakes?
Sadie: Chocolate cupcakes.
Me: Duly noted. Do you want a swimming party?
Sadie: Will you tell Daddy to put chocolate icing on the chocolate cupcakes?
Me: Sure. Anything else?
Sadie: Yes. Fresh flowers, please.
*Most of this conversation is true. I did not accept any money from alcoholic clowns to make this post.