The Newborn At My House

I am exhausted.

Having a new baby means sleepless nights and constant swings between agonizing worries and dizzying joys and new discoveries.  Everyday I find new vistas in myself and my new little one.

Sometimes I feel so helpless– I don’t even know what I am doing. I know millions of people have done this before me, but I have trouble asking for help. I feel like I should already know what I am doing. In my darker moments, when I check on the baby late at night, my nasty inner critic sneers, “You are too old for this. You made a big mistake.”

And of course there’s the guilt. I wonder if Sadie and Simon feel neglected or displaced. I worry that I spend too much time with my new baby.  I know sometimes I should be giving Sadie and Simon my full attention, but I am distracted by the new baby.

I also have fleeting worries about getting my body back into shape. Who has time to exercise when there’s a new baby in the house?  I can’t possibly tear myself away to do something as vain as exercise. It’s going to have to wait until I get into a routine with the new baby.

Maybe this will get easier, when the baby is older and I know what I am doing. I remember to cut myself extra slack and plan an extra snack…. After all, my Twitter account is only five days old.

It’s bound to get easier, right?

Picture of my newborn courtesy of www.mashable.com

Picture of my newborn courtesy of http://www.mashable.com

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18 thoughts on “The Newborn At My House

  1. LOL! I too was exhausted when I opened my twitter account. I’ve been tweeting for a little more than a year now. I took me a few months to get used to it. Let me pass on some advice to you that my agent gave me (who is a huge believer in establishing a twitter presence): when first getting starting, tweet three times a day – once in the morning, mid-afternoon and before you go to bed. This advice was a life-saver for me, because it can be all-consuming if you let it. But it doesn’t need to be. I still try to follow the three-time a day rule, but now that I’m established, there are days that I might only get one tweet out there. Don’t wrack your head for tweets – go look at your blog posts and take snip-its from that. You have some great one liners. that’s all you need. Trust me. That’s why I always thought you would eventually take twitter by storm. Will pub you when i can. GOOD FOR YOU FOR FACING THIS FEAR! YOU ROCK, OUTLAW MAMA!! *chest bumps screen*

    • Right? It’s like insane. And I only have 90 people I follow. I don’t know if I am mature enough for this…I now think that Sarah Silverman and stephen Colbert are my friends.

  2. Squee!! I’m so glad you’re on Twitter!! There’ve been tons of times I’ve wanted to Tweet something to you, and now I can! Yay!

    Oh, and welcome to a time suck worse than a Vegas casino. It’s still 2009, right?

  3. It takes time to get use to twitter. It’s like email on crack.
    Got another cool twitter tip for you – setup your lists. THAT was the biggest thing for me to make it easier to use twitter. I have my list of bloggers, my list for people who make me laugh, my list of politics … you get the idea. THEN when I log in, I pull up which list I’m interested in and just read their tweets.
    I get in, get out … my new time suck is pinterest 🙂

    • I didn’t know you could do that. I will work on that. It would be nice to avoid nicki minaj’s 8,000 incomprehensible tweets.

      Don’t even get me started on Pinterest.

      • When you start to follow someone, right next to that is this picture of a person/something. Click on that and you’ll see where you can add/remove from a list. When that comes up, you’ll see how you can add a new list. It was a good day when I found about the lists 🙂
        (At least you can avoid justin bieber’s tweets)

  4. I’m commiserating with you on the newborn stuff. I just think it’s not a job we’re meant to do alone. And I don’t mean your partner coming home at night and giving an hour break. I mean we’re probably meant to have an extended network of family and neighbors popping in and holding the baby frequently.

    Anyway, not sure how this stream turned to twitter, but I’m hopelessly overwhelmed by it. I’m sure I could get more on top of it but without a smart phone that’s time in front of the computer I just can’t spare. And when I do, I can’t stop feeling like I should be doing something less self-indulgent – like playing with my baby or cleaning up my mess or cooking something or… writing on my blog??? (what?)

  5. Ok, I’m catching up from not having internet for two whole days (moving) and this seems to be the biggest hoax since Zac from Saved by the Bell’s supposed death. Is it real? I am logging on tp Twitter right now just to follow you.

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