Even on Father’s Day, It’s All About Me

As I like to remind anyone who will listen, I take enormous pride in my gift-giving abilities.  If you want some background on this talent of mine, read this, the post that catapulted me to fame as one of the Voices of the Year in the category of humor for BlogHer ’12.

And this Father’s Day, here we are again, facing another occasion for which I must produce a gift for Jeff.  And, of course I have lots of great things to say about Jeff, but let me sum up my thoughts by sharing my therapist’s warning after my third date with Jeff:  “Be prepared for Jeff to be better than you at everything.”

“Everything?” I inquired.

“Everything.  Period.”

Is my therapist clairvoyant?  Yes, Internet, he is.  Because it’s true that Jeff is better at most things than I am, and because it’s Father’s Day, I am going refrain from telling you the things that I am actually better at doing than Jeff. Except one: I am a better gift giver.  (Ask me about our first Christmas when I thought I was getting some bling bling, but I got an electric toothbrush instead.  Good times that December 25.  He claims I asked for the toothbrush, which is technically true, but he should have known I was lying trying to look anti-materialistic, and what I really wanted was something sparkly, not something to make my teeth sparkly.)

Here’s what I got this Father’s Day for Jeff, who famously proclaims, “I don’t need anything; I don’t want anything.”  But, Jeff, you need and want this:

In the Night Kitchen T-Shirt

In the Night Kitchen T-Shirt

A commemorative t-shirt from the lesser-known Maurice Sendak book, In The Night Kitchen, featuring soft fabric, heathery-blue hue, slightly kitschy message, and a very Father-centric vibe. It’s a great gift for a great father.

Looking up to Daddy

Looking up to Daddy

Daddy leads the way

Daddy leads the way


5 thoughts on “Even on Father’s Day, It’s All About Me

  1. I love you and your family. Makes me feel all warm and tingly inside knowing we’re sharing this path with you and yours (hmmm, I hope I’m not getting the stomach flu :-)). And are you ever one fantastic gift giver!

  2. I think back on the time when you (the collective) want to be engaged and your partner has their thick-skulled head stuck in the sand that they actually buy tooth-brushes rather than diamond rings. It’s a painful time getting engaged, I don’t care what anyone says. We had plenty of those tooth-brush moments.

    And now 8 years later, life has turned out great and I still don’t have an answer as to why it is so difficult to decide to propose. Or why women insist on sticking to the expectations and timelines that live mostly in their head.

    I have a case of the Mondays, sorry for being a downer.

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