My Kid’s Gonna Bust Through The Glass Ceiling (Wearing Plastic Boots From Old Navy)

Hope in a depraved world

Hope in a depraved world

Every now and then my kids do something that reminds me that I can stop with all the hand wringing about their gentle psyches and fretting about all the oppressive things this mean old world is going to do to them.  In those moments, I simply revel in their vitality and f*cking randomness.  And I know, for a few seconds, that every damn little thing is gonna be alright.

When my daughter wakes up from a nap and insists on putting on her filthy soccer uniform that she ran around in for three hours this morning (in 90-degree heat) and pairs it with her killer pink boots, you may see a combination of middle American bad fashion sense and poor mothering,  But, I have the sense that she’s gonna end up on her feet no matter what happens, and then she will kick you in the face with her plastic cowboy boots from Old Navy.  Then, she’s gonna kick through the glass ceiling and rule the planet.  And I am basically ok with that.

Further, this weekend Sadie received her first Barbie-esque doll as a present from her beloved grandparents.  Did I worry about her getting a doll with voluptuous plastic boobs and unrealistic proportions?  Yes.  And everyone, and I mean EVERY.  SINGLE.  PERSON. told me to lighten the f*ck up.   So, I put on my big girl pants that I wear when I have to do hard stuff like change my attitude or LET GO OF CONTROL, and I let Sadie enjoy her new doll.

Ariel Barbie Doll (image courtesy of

Ariel Barbie Doll (image courtesy of

For 48 hours this doll was Sadie’s beloved treasure– Sadie ate breakfast with her, played with her, and slept with her.  She showed me her tiara about 68 times.  Then, Sadie surprised me, as only Sadie can, by falling in love with a vintage video camera (from 1989) that Jeff found in the trash alley. If Sadie’s amorous feelings towards Ariel were puppy love, then her feelings for this video camera were straight out of The Thorn Birds. (God, remember when that first aired? I had to beg my Baptist grandmother to turn off Pat Robertson and let me watch this Australian priest screw his young lover.  When I sold her on that idea, I knew I could become a lawyer.)

Sadie and her new love

Sadie and her new love

Anyway, suddenly, Sadie was all “Ariel who? Where the f*ck is my camera? If Simon is touching my camera I. Will. Cut. Him.”  Now, guess what Sadie sleeps with? It rhymes with “lamera” and “damera,” and she’s so hopelessly enamored with this second-hand camera that is as big as her head (sans hair) and almost as heavy as her head (with hair).  And when Sadie insists on wearing her pajamas to the park so she can take pictures with her new camera, I say hell yes, then I grab myself a cold popsicle and sit back and watch her soar.

She's gotta work out to lift this thing

She’s gotta work out to lift this thing


19 thoughts on “My Kid’s Gonna Bust Through The Glass Ceiling (Wearing Plastic Boots From Old Navy)

  1. What a F*CKING awesome post. Kick ass mom, kick ass kid.

    I don’t know if the adrenaline from my own writing is contributing, but this post made me soar. I asked you yesterday when I stop worrying about all the ways my just turned 16-month old will try to harm herself and this seems to be my answer. In a year or so she will have more moments that show me who she truly is (in more complex ways) and I suspect she’s gonna kill it just like Sadie.

    PS – I don’t know how you let that doll in your house. I am happy she abandoned it in 3 days but I don’t think I could have been as cool and trusting as you. Your restraint should be praised to high hell.

  2. This post almost made me cry…. I LOVE that Sadie is such an amazing, original, spunky, individual. (As you can tell I LOVE KIDS) Sadie is going to rule the world…. with her camera, pink kick ass boots and her Barbie (with unrealistic proportions beside her) while eating chocolate cupcakes, of course. SADIE. ROCKS.

  3. I am surprised people told you to lighten up about the barbie. If we got one, I think I would put it away until she is “older.” “older” being code for never.

  4. My 2 year old was given an absolutely horrific Raggedy Ann doll. This doll terrified me but she loved it. Just looking at its clownish face and dead eyes gave me the heebie-jeebies. It was her new best friend for a whole day but I suffered stoically. Her next best friend was an equally disturbing baby doll with a abnormally giant head (talk about unrealistic proportions) and a mouth full of painted teeth. Who makes these dolls? I can’t fault you for letting her play with a Barbie. A doll without the social messages attached is just a doll, no matter how freakish it is. Your daughter sounds wonderful!

  5. Sadie is a freaking Annie Oakley with a soccer ball. She. Will. Rule. Especially with that hair. God, I love naturally curly hair. And I love that she loves the camera. Sometimes the best gifts are free/scavenged.

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