I am not going to cry when the show that should have been my show airs on Thursday. I am a grown-ass woman, and I understand the vagaries of show biz. I will be neither bitter nor small-hearted. I am not holding a grudge.
But I will be a little melancholy when 3PM Thursday rolls around and it’s not me sitting on the couch next to Katie Couric.
Katie Couric’s Daytime Talk Show (Photo credit: Ida Mae Astute/Disney-ABC)
My hopes had soared high. One of her producers called and interviewed me after reading one of my blog posts about how I buy things and hide them from Jeff. She asked me probing questions about my spending habits. I started out reserved, but ended up telling her most of my shameful money secrets.
I was “perfect” for the show that Couric’s producers wanted to do on “secret spending.”
The producer gave me a date that I would be flown to New York for the taping. Experts were going to offer me financial advice on the air. I pictured myself leaving New York with an invitation to join the Courics in the Hamptons for Thanksgiving.
I had never believed I was a fame whore, but I found myself fantasizing about the green room and the other stars I might bump into there. Imagine the snacks she must serve her guests! I bet they have chocolate muffins and pens emblazoned with Katie’s name on them! I was gonna get me some of those.
I wondered if there would be opportunities to plug my blog on the show.
“Oh, yes, Katie, I recklessly spend at Nordstrom Rack, which distracts me from my blogging at www.outlawmama.com!”
I gave in to wild fantasies about how fabulous it would be to be a guest on a daytime TV show talking about my dysfunctional relationship to spending at discount stores. I told people about this unexpected opportunity. My friends set their DVRs to record my network debut. I promised my mother I would wear something flattering on television. I drafted an email to Nordstrom Rack asking if they wanted to wardrobe me for my appearance. I watched Couric’s show every night so I would understand her mission and her vibe.
Yes, I was disappointed when the producer I had grown so attached to emailed me to say they were looking for someone with more dramatic spending problems. For a moment, I considered grabbing the credit cards and plunging my family into real debt by buying a quarter horse or a leer jet. You want dramatic, I will go Honey Boo Boo on you! I can be good TV!
I let everyone know that I remain an ardent supporter of Ms. Couric’s work and implored them to keep watching her show, just don’t expect to see me there any time soon.
To myself, I resolved that any future TV exposure will be for something more admirable than my habit of stashing impulse purchases behind my wedding dress.
So, I will be ok tomorrow. I won’t cry, but I may swing by Nordstrom Rack for a consolation prize before the week is out.
Can you please go all Honey Boo Boo on us? Hysterical. What an awesome and honest account of the process we’d all go through: hesitation to excitement to full-blown delusion before watching the whole thing deflate before our eyes.
Can I just say you had the absolute ideal outcome? You were picked out of a crowd, singled out for your special-ness and then at the end of the day told to just stay home because as interesting as you are, you don’t have irreparable damage that warrants Katie’s touch. You are my hero.
I love your spin on this! And you’re right– I might have missed this chance but it’s because I’m not dramatic enough. That’s probably a good thing.
I second Carinn’s comment! Way to not be THAT far off the deep end. lol
A blessing, right?
What she said. (Carinn, that is.) Loved your story and was with you every step of the way. 🙂
Thanks, Cat!
I second everything Carinn said! It’s so cool that you had an interview and in the end, who wants to be on the air as an eft up crazy secret spending housewife?!! I also loved the way you wrote this, the emotions – so real! And, you should definitely go hit up the Rack.
Right? I’ve earned it. I’m saving all my crazy for y’all!!!
You slay me, woman! This was so damn honest and positively hysterical.
I really hope they don’t have any leer jets or quarter horses at the Rack tomorrow. Those will not fit in the closet behind your wedding dress.
If I let out the bustle, the horse might fit!
I loved this piece. A lot a lot. Maybe it’s because I’ve had people asking me recently if I was trying to get famous by blogging (answer: NO). Maybe it is because I drive around town and still occasionally see pictures of myself on billboards and all I feel is fat and dumpy looking and that after the craziness of last spring’s local publicity blitz (the billboards, the multiple mass mailings, the magazine features, the TV and radio interview and the “public appearance”), I realize that I much prefer being crazy-ass boring. I’m not a reality celebrity because I’m dull and my life isn’t dramatic or anything more than average and I’m just fine with that. Better for my marriage and kids anyway.
But I would have tuned in to watch you 🙂
I don’t know about your brush w all this. Billboards sounds scary! Should I google you or just let the mystery remain?
It goes along with this: http://stlukescrblogs.com/realmomsofeasterniowa/ Let’s just say that hospitals are big business and they do publicity like Magic Mike does crunches. When that launched, we were everywhere. Seven months later and we’re still on rotating billboards and mall kiosks. So bizarre…
ps. Sorry for breaking that “leave no self-promoting link in your comment” thing.
I don’t adhere to that rule! Glad you posted. Love the analogy. And your perspective on fame.
I kind of had the same thing happen with NBC news last year. They were looking to do a series about 40-something who were having problems figuring out what to do with the rest of their life. I was singled out as a finalist after entering. I was hopeful too, but at the end the producer told me I had my life together too much to win. Crap!!
We are just too awesome to be used as bad examples.
I love your spin on this. We are too together for good tv.
OMG…I’m not the only 40 yr old wondering what to do with her life??? Good to know. Maybe I can stop being so dramatic about it.
I’m 39 so I get 6 mos to figure it all out.
Not by a long shot, Alyson. Problem is, I figured out what I wanted to do and started working on that, then got pregnant!!! Plans out the window! But I did get 9 good months of being dramatic out of it! 🙂
Oh no!!! Well, for fear of being stoned to death by the blogging community- I have not said that I cannot stand Katie Couric out loud. To anyone. I didn’t like her back on Today, and I didn’t like her on the nightly news.I do not like her now. There. I said it. May the hatred and loathing of bloggers rain down upon me. This all said- I love you even more that you are not going to be on her show. You know- we might be able to get you on somewhere… let my people talk to your people and figure this out.
I support you liking whomever you damn well please. No shame. Mostly I am sad I don’t get a paid trip to nyc with my hubs. Maybe if I stick to the budget, we can go on our own dime!
Loved the honesty of your story! LOVED it!! I’d say celebrate that you aren’t messed up enough to be on TV. Yay for you!
I know you’re right. I’m almost embarrassed to be disappointed.
I got called by Dr. Phil’s producers one time. I too was perfect for their show. They just needed to call my ex-husband and get him to go on as well. I went through that same process you wrote about. Then they called back and said my ex refused. I asked if my current husband could pretend to be my ex. Or if I could make him my ex, would that work? LOL
I think you’ll make it to TV one day but it’ll be for a better reason than secret spending that you announced all over your blog so it really isn’t secret anymore. 🙂
Mean old ex! It’s possible we all dodged bullets here.
I’m so glad you’re good “real life” rather than “good TV”. While I do my share of discount shopping, I find local boutiques far more consoling. And I rationalize the good work in doing for small businesses. Exercise this approach with caution. I would have loved to see you on TV, though!!
Man, if I go down the boutique route, I’m scared I’ll end up very TV ready. I love helping local business though. Perhaps with some self control this could work.
Your blog got all the way to a producer at her show… that’s something to be proud of right there! Go Outlawmama!!!
That’s true. I just watched the trailer for tomorrow. It’s about coupled divorcing over debt. Not me!
I am just copying and pasting this first part. Sorry … I promise you will only have to endure it once. I’m Angela — new to blogging and new to yeah write. But, not new to writing. Until becoming unemployed this June (effin’ Scott Walker … oops!), I taught high school English and Creative Writing was one of those courses. So, long story short: I will always have lots to say. Feel free to curse at me if you don’t want to hear all my feedback. If you want more, let me know that too. I will glady offer even further feedback, but I’m not interested in pissing anyone off my first time on the grid. Now, on to your post …
This was really enjoyable to read. You have excellent voice in your writing. As I read it, it felt like I was hearing it from you over a cup of coffee … or better yet, a glass of wine. It’s really a relatable bit of writing … although I’ve certainly never been invited to be on any tv show. Just the raw emotion of dissapointment and finding the funny in it are relatable. Looking forward to reading more from you!
Yay!! Welcome aboard. I welcome your comments. I’m a legal writing teacher myself so we are kindred spirits! Glad you’re here!
Darn! Would have loved to see you on the show. Now i’m boycotting! I will not watch Katie until she calls you again! You amuse me, as always. 🙂
Thank you!!!
Silly goose. You’re going to be on her show (and others) on a segment about how we undervalue mothers. On brilliant and talented professionals who put their careers on hold (sometimes forever) to raise their children and how that benefits society with awesome humans, but also brings us hilarious blogging and entrepreneurial crafting and home-based organizational where-to-hide-your-purchases consultancies.
You’re gonna be on for the things that make you amazing. Not the mundane things that rank up there with eating artichoke hearts from the jar.
Unless that’s an episode. ‘Cuz I’m totally getting on that show.
[Pssst: Farrah, if it makes you feel better, I’m wholly apathetic to the Katy phenomenon. I wish her luck, I hope her family is happy, but I won’t actually push a button to watch her talk.]
And I didn’t even know that Katie was back on the air. (I don’t have a strong opinion about her either way, other than the fact that I’ve always been sort of impressed by how toned and golden her legs look on TV.) But now I’m definitely not checking out her show. No Christie, no Kristen! 😉
THat’s the kind of loyalty I am looking for! When I saw KC at BlogHer, I loved her message, her energy and her toned legs. When asked how she balances it all (family, career, working out), she said, “They never ask Brian Williams that question.” I loved that answer. I wasn’t as big of a fan until she came out in such support for bloggers. I’ll take that anyday. and her work with Sarah Palin, was sort of AMAZING. What a weird time that was. I still heart Farah for putting it out there. Some day I will admit that I hate recycling and then all hell will break loose. Til then, Thanks.
Is there any other way to eat artichoke hearts? Wait, once I ate them from a can, but still. We can do a panel on this.
And you’re right, I want to go as someone who is inspiring, not someone to sit and home and be glad you are NOT. Now, when they call me for a cameo on Mad Men or to be on Jeopardy, I will fight like tooth and nail, but this one….it can be the “one that got away.”
I’m so excited that you even got that initial phone call. They’ll be sorry they didn’t stick with you.
It was going to be a grand adventure for me and Jeff. But I kept joking he would end up with a talk show and I would end up in in-patient treatment, so it’s probably for the best. Thanks for the kind words!!!
Trust me, Katie C will be kicking herself with those toned legs one day when she realizes she could have had you on her show. But then she’ll be competing with Oprah, Ricky, Ellen, Rachel and Honey Boo Boo for an exclusive interview with you. Too bad for you, Katie. And I’m happy you’re not divorcing (or out feeding ponies) to be on her show. Yay, you!
I weighed my options and divorce seemed a high price to pay for going on the Katie Couric show.
Isn’t it great to know that you aren’t messed up enough for TV? Maybe one day they’ll contact you because of your general writing awesomeness.
I agree. It would be somewhat embarassing to be there because of my dysfunction. I’ll hold out until there’ a better reason to sit next to Katie. LIke when I run for VP!
Funny girl. Forget a silly segment with Katie. You need your own show! Sitcom or talk show…I am undecided on which would be a better vehicle for your pizzazz! Bummer about New York, yah…
Sitcom! That’s hilarious. Thank you. Why am I picturing Chrissy Snow from Three’s Company?
So sorry you didn’t get your 15 mins. of fame, but to have your blog discovered and be called by a producers. SO cool!
You’re right. There is an upside here.
What a rad story! I love that you got called by the producers! How cool is that?!
Even if it didn’t all work out the way you originally wanted, I’m glad that you at least got that far. That’s an accomplishment to me, right there.
I also wanted to point out that I loved how authentic your voice was in this one. Not that the rest of submissions seem to be forced, but they DO seem a little more formal if that makes sense. Awesome job.
That’s perceptive feedback. My husband pointed that out too. I think I’m going to loosen up more now. Here’s hoping. That’s for the insight.
Aw. That’s really disappointing. You’re so funny about it though. No doubt you’ll end up on the air one of these days, and for something way cooler than spending! 🙂
Thanks. I suppose if I never make it on tv that’s ok too.
So close, and I certainly understand how your imagination took off. Mine takes off all the time without any impetus at all.
It takes so little!
Oh booo! That’s disappointing!
What a great story! And one you can tell forever; if you had to tell the story of how you were actually on the show, you’d look like a self-promoting jerk and we’d all be fake-nice to you but would actually be simmering with eighth-grade envy. Now you have the perfect situation, you made a wonderful post out it and we all love you more than ever. Well done!
Now that’s a great spin on how this all went down! Now I’m truly grateful for how the chips fell. Always such a love!
I never did like that Katie Couric…Kidding, kind of. But what a great story. I love that they discovered you through your blog. You more than deserve it. Your voice in this piece is so real and personal, and I actually really like that you didn’t make it onto a show about bad examples. You are way too awesome to be a bad example.
I love the comments on here. I wish I had something to add, but everyone else has said it all .. and more articulately and eloquently than me. Damn you internet for killing my self esteem.
The Internet is where self-esteem goes to expire. I try to do my part to further the process….
How DARE they say you’re not whacked enough for TV?! I will throw a dumbbell at them. Wait, really? No. You’re perfect. And so is this piece. 😉
Thank you!!!!
You sat there, in that crowded BlogHer room and watched her (presumably. I mean, I don’t actually know for certain you sat there because I didn’t see you.) and she snubs you like that? Oh no. NO!
You need to watch the episode and then compare yourself to the woman they have on. That would definitely make you feel better. Maybe.
You probably shouldn’t listen to anything I say 🙂
The nerve of her!!!!! I’ll take a pep talk from you any day.
Pingback: yeah write #76 winners' post: jury prize winner, editor picks and comment karma - yeah write
That is so frustrating. To be told you were perfect and then be rejected. That totally sucks. AND, you can believe that your story would have appealed to more people, because few people live at the extremes, but LOTS of people hide little things behind the wedding dress. (Just now getting this far. Last week was hell.)
Awwwww. I hope this week is better! Hell weeks suck!
Pingback: Rejected From Reality TV | Outlaw Mama
Thanks for sharing excellent informations. Your web-site is so cool. I am impressed by the details that you have on this website. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for extra articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found simply the information I already searched all over the place and simply could not come across. What a perfect web-site.
Panela@yahoo.com
Pingback: No Leaving Sandra Bland Behind | Outlaw Mama