I think I have found the perfect candidate for my preschool BFF. It’s quite genius. I am thrilled it only took me 5 weeks to hone in on the person who (1) makes me feel totally comfortable, (2) won’t ask too much of me, (3) shows zero aptitude for judging me or anyone else, and (4) isn’t pretentious in any way. Ok, there’s a #5 too: My new BFF dresses casually and carelessly, just like I do.
We’ve bonded. Both of us love that moment when the preschoolers bound through the glass doors and find the beloved face of the person who will scoop them up and say, “How was your day?” Both of us love our preschoolers fiercely, but not in a show-offy, “I love better than you do” way.
We have great conversations: about food and our weekend plans and how we struggle to balance it all.
More than what we have said to each other, there are the things we have NOT said. There’s been no spouse bashing (we both admire and speak highly of our spouses), no bragging about anything, no excessive self-deprecation that is really the flip side of bragging. There’s no talk of materialistic “we have this” and no over-sharing (except by me).
We stand there waiting for our charges, we shoot the shit, and we enjoy the 10 minutes a day we interact.
I am pretty sure it’s because my BFF is a HE, and he’s not a stay-at-home dad. It’s better! He’s a stay-at-home-Grandpa! It’s brilliant, right? He’s got lots of life experience and a fun, “I don’t give a hooey” attitude. Best of all: He’s got a heart full of unsullied love for his granddaughter.
Added bonus: I can sort of be flirty with him (simply to sharpen my skills for my own dear husband), and it’s not weird like it would be if he was under 70.
Double added bonus: I can also get out of my egocentric space when I hear about his very real health challenges and the exquisite gratitude he has for each day.
So, if the moms freak you out, and you’re not brave enough to strike out with the daddies, try the grandparents! It’s working for me.