My bangs are deep into week 2 of Occupy My Forehead so I am coming out of denial. I have bangs now, so I better buck up and look on the bright side. And, anytime I need some help with the bright side, I turn to Uncle Google.
But first, I have to let you know that I discovered why I had to get bangs last week. (My therapist is out of town, so I am therapizing myself.) I wrote a blog post about being shunned in 5th grade by some mean girls. I hadn’t thought about that awful year in so long, but once I wrote about it, I couldn’t shake loose from my inner 5th grader. Wanna see what she looked like:
I don’t think the bangs had anything to do with that day in the cafeteria. Maybe that lime green frock we bought at a border town on the Rio Grande wasn’t helping, though.
Hmmmm, now I can only see my inner-5th grader when I look at my
As previously mentioned, last time I got bangs, I was newly postpartum. They were very NOT cute and it spurred me to institute my cardinal rule of NO BANGS. That time I could blame everything on sleep deprivation. This time? I got nothing. Back then, my discerning 4-month old wasn’t a big fan of my bangs:
But, Uncle Google assured me that PUH-LENTY of brunettes are rocking bangs up and down the red carpet. I look to them for hair-spiration. And I only die a little when I see how great their hair looks, while I am stuck with these 3-inch bangs for the foreseeable future.
Why couldn’t it look like this?
Fine, I am not as adorbs as Zooey, but what about her cast mate CeCe? Could I pull her bang style off?
Ok, fine, the cast of New Girl is out of my league. What about some B-listers? Plenty of them are stylish in their own way. For example:
I was running out of hope that Uncle G would come through, so I was excited when I saw that Jennifer L. Hewitt was not a stranger to the bang:
But, I know that nothing about my hair or my lifestyle has anything to do with Hollywood.
On the other hand, it’s not this bad:
Or this bad:
So there are people out there with worse bangs than mine, and people with better bangs. I can live with that. And I am willing to relieve and grow through the bangs part of 5th grade as long as I don’t have to relive the ostracism. Plus, I can (and do) wear a hat everyday now.
Anyone got any growing-out-bangs tips?
PS: If you ask Uncle G to do a search on “man bangs,” be prepared for a pornographic onslaught that would make Bill Clinton blush.