Well, if you thought I hated Halloween, then wait until you see what I have to say about our dear old friend, the Fall Backward Time Change (“FBTC”). Is there a bigger asshole on our nation’s calendar?
No, there’s not.
I’ve always been a bit grumpy about this one, but this year is the apex of my distaste (or should it be the nadir?). I can stomach that it will be dark at 4:10 pm, and I’ll be stuck in my house with my kids. (Thank God for Twitter– Holla!) I can even handle the part where there will about 30 minutes of sunshine a day (because I have plenty of Zoloft).
But ya’ll, the early mornings with my kids are gonna kill me. I swear I am going to expire from “being too old to get up this early” every single day.
Saturday morning, on the eve of FBTC, Simon woke up at 5:30 AM– and that was after we kept him up the night before until almost 9 PM. That morning he wasn’t drowsy at all– I heard him ask Jeff if they could go upstairs and play chess. I am sure Jeff was kind and patient, but I would have told little Bobby Fisher to stuff it and ask me again at 7 AM.
Let’s do some math. Simon woke up Saturday at 5:30 AM. After FBTC, it will be a 4:30 AM wake-up call. How the hell is that going to work?
We’ve tried everything to get him to sleep by past 6. More food, more activity, shorter naps, extra Benedryl. The dude is always ready to go at 5:30 AM.
And I have been worrying about this year’s FBTC since August. My soul is churning with fear about how the mornings will go.
I know it’s not healthy to be this hung-up on sleep. I have asked everyone how to alter Simon’s sleep schedule, but in the end, I know the words of my spiritual counselor (Ms. Oprah Winfrey) are the ones that will free me: “Accept it and let go.” (But of course, Oprah doesn’t have children.)
Anyone have strategies for surviving this time change?