Trend Fail: Long Hair For My Son Isn’t Happening

There are certain parenting trends I want to follow (see monogramming the shit out of my kids’ stuff), and others I want to want to follow (see cloth diapers), and still others I wouldn’t touch with a long pair of stainless steel tongs (see putting my kids on a leash in the airport).

But, I thought for sure I would be all over that trend where you let your son’s hair grow super long, ala Kate Hudson’s son, Ryder.  Because, certainly, if I am going to follow someone else’s parenting decisions, I should start with Kate Hudson’s right?

Ms. Hudson's son, Ryder (image credit:

Ms. Hudson’s son, Ryder (image credit:


This trend had Oultaw Mama written all over it.  I am enchanted at the prospect of a gender-neutralized world, where my girl could wear her hair short without being called “dykey,” and my son could wear long hair without having his manhood questioned.  And, I tried to embrace Simon with long locks– little tendrils that curled on the end and looked adorbs when he woke up from one of his extra-long naps.

I was in full support of his androgynous/metrosexual side.

But his hair was in his eyes and it always looked greasy, even just hours after he had a bath.  Jeff hinted that a haircut “might be nice,” and I resisted.  Because, hello? We are working a TREND here.

But, just like growing your own marijuana or bedazzling a jean jacket, this trend is passing us by, and my sweet little boy looks exactly like a boy now.

Turning my son into a Republican

Turning my son into a Republican

I know he also looks like a little banker, or worse yet, a young Republican, but I wanted to see his eyes.  Every time I look at him now, I just marvel at his features, which are no longer hidden behind the weird little mullet thing he used to have.  Jeff isn’t in love with the cut, but I am.  It’s the cutest thing I have ever seen.

If only I could love my haircuts as much as I love his– now that would be a Christmas miracle.


28 thoughts on “Trend Fail: Long Hair For My Son Isn’t Happening

  1. Your ability to dump trends at just the right time is inspiring – I’m certain I saw Monsieur Ryder getting his hair chopped at Super Cuts this morning. And Simon would be adorbs with a bowl cut. But young republican suits him.

  2. Oh my gosh Simon is so cute!!
    As always, I laughed at your wit. You funny Mama.
    I have two sons with short hair and one with long locks. We’ve had mohawks and buzz cuts and everything else in between, but it’s all about finding what suits our littles personalities.
    It’s amazing how much a haircut (or lack of one!) can change their looks so drastically!

  3. Christie, when his classmates start getting sent home for head lice you’ll be so happy he doesn’t have long hair. My boys both have buzz cuts and those nasty bugs aren’t coming near such unfriendly territory. Sorry to bring up such a revolting topic but it’s pervasive. I thought maybe it was worse here because of our warm climate but my friend who lives in Boston and pays $28,000 a year for ELEMENTARY SCHOOL says it happens at her kids’ hoity-toity school all the time. Simon is too cute, by the way.

  4. I love the differences between black and white hair especially in relation to cuts. My boy has a mini afro right now because the front hasn’t grown in to where he can get an actual haircut that doesn’t make his hairline look like it starts back by his ears. My husband trims is maybe once a month when he starts to look especially, um, Spock-like above his ears but in the meantime? Rock the bush, boy, rock the bush.

    Your boy’s cut is cute! It makes him look like such a bigger boy.

  5. One of my favorite posts ever! So funny. Simon is adorable. But don’t be jealous, I am constantly asked if my son is a girl with his long hair (it’s not Ryder but it’s pretty long) and my daughter in all her bald glory gets “he” all the time. We are rocking the trend and I didn’t even know it was cool.

  6. I’m already considering doing a quick trim on Little Man’s hair even though he’s only 14 weeks old. Especially now that he’s going bald in the front, his little duck tail mullet is starting to look too redneck for my liking.

  7. EEK! Young Republican? So had not thought of that, and it’s a relevant and timely in our house. My son, age three and change, has never had a haircut. Now that I’m ready, and it’s long enough to donate without leaving him looking like a marine recruit, he’s not down with getting his locks lopped off.
    Thanks for another compelling reason to put it off. 🙂

  8. Exact same thing happened to me a couple weeks ago! I wanted to leave his pretty curly hair alone, but it was all over the place and in his face (and therefore mine since he likes to keep his face close to mine). So I took him for his first haircut (and subsequently ruined said haircut by cutting his bangs a little shorter). But it’s settled a bit now, and I love being able to look at his cute face! I don’t *think* we’ve turned him into a Republican 🙂

  9. I would totally put my kid on a leash at the airport if I had to. Seriously, we’re outnumbered, although we check as much luggage as possible. Also, I once put my younger son on a leash at a farm. I was heavily pregnant and he kept running away on purpose. Although it was horrible, it was better than losing him, so I totally understand when parents of twins do it.

    I may or may not have appreciated the irony of being at a petting farm and the only thing on a leash was my kid… back to the post, my short-haired kid. I hated it when my boys had long hair because they were constantly being mistaken for girls, especially John, who is kinda pretty.

  10. What a doll he is!! But, yeah, I can’t imagine dealing with long hair on a rowdy little boy. Plus, the longer it went on, the more ammunition you would have given him when he’s older to say, “I can’t believe you did that to me!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s