Ah, the together time at the holidays…when everyone is together all day long, trying to figure out what the hell to do until the next meal. It’s so fun. It doesn’t make me anxious at all; in fact, I am sad it doesn’t come around more often.
And this holiday season, I am more addled that normal. I keep losing things and forgetting to do things, and I tell people the same stories over and over. The great part about me, though, is that all these mental lapses make me embarrassed so I lash out in anger and defensiveness. It’s part of my charm.
To add to the spirit of this bittersweet 2012 year end, I have taken to throwing decent American companies under the bus.
Like Snapfish (the on-line photo company that makes holiday cards).
We made our holiday card, and I was doing a good job keeping track of the ones I had sent (Jeff’s mom: check, my sister: check), but then at some point last week, I lost a stack of them. Roughly half. We still had some important people to send to: Jeff’s business partner, my therapist. I maybe sort of remembered sticking them somewhere but could not for the life of me remember where. I looked in all my bags, all my junk stashes, and the top of my dresser, which belongs on the set of Sanford & Son.
So, I told Jeff the truth.
Me: Jeff, I think Snapfish made a mistake. They were supposed to send 75 cards, but they only sent 50. They are a good company, but they goofed.
Jeff: Really? I will check the order and give them a call.
One hour later, Jeff returns saying he talked to all different levels of people at Snapfish– they were all very nice, he reported– they agreed to send replacements, but they won’t arrive until the end of the month. Apparently, they are “busy”. Jeff was optimistic: “They will send replacements by December 31.”
Satisfied that justice was served, I went on about my business, which was looking for my
hidden chocolate stash extra-strength pain reliever to take for my headache that comes every time to have too much intimacy with my family.
Guess what I found on medicine shelf?
25 blank Christmas cards ready for sending out. Who puts blank Christmas cards next to Benedryl and Tylenol?
My bad. Sorry, Snapfish.
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This post was not sponsored by Snapfish or any of its competitors. At the rate I am going, I will end up getting paid to SHUT UP about companies.