In second grade, Sister Lynn Michelle taught us that everyone had something special to contribute to the world. In current-day Twitter parlance, she was talking about super powers.
And I have a few.
First, I can spot a Hannah Andersson outfit on one of the Costco tables from across the warehouse. If you don’t think that’s a super power then you have never been to Costco or you don’t know the retail prices of Hannah Andersson’s pj’s and leggings.
Second, I always have a pony tail holder on me. ALWAYS. On my wrist, in my pocket, in my purse. Should the urge to throw back hair ever strike anyone near me, I have the situation covered.
Third, and most powerful, I have the ability to find the down side to absolutely anything. I used to think it was a curse or a bad habit. Now I see it as a super power. Spiderman has his webs; Wonder Woman has her truth lasso thingy; and I have my uncanny, never-failing, negative thoughts. When I found out my rank at law school was pretty good, I cried because I was sure I would sink below average the next semester. When I got pregnant, I worried about miscarriage nonstop until the baby was born, when I quickly started worrying about SIDS. Win the lottery? Don’t forget those pesky taxes and the fact that lottery winners are more miserable than people disfigured in fiery crashes. If you need the negative side to the great news is your life, Tweet me, I’ll set you up with a five-point list.
For a slightly longer and perhaps more stimulating example of this super power, check out my post over (here) Mom.me, where I lay out how getting my kids into a dream school made me feel sad because their excellent education will take them far, far away from yours truly. (Fourth super power: Making every single thing about ME ME ME.)
Also, I am not sure if I mentioned this yet, but I got a new job. Did you hear? Seems like I can’t shut up about it. Wanna ask me about it? Go ahead, but maybe check here for my piece on the Huffington Post about the question that I hate being asked now that I am back to work.