No, I Will Not Get Excited About The Pope Or Jennifer Lawrence

I am trying to figure out why I am so jaded.  Is it because I was born under the reign of Richard M. Nixon?  Is it because of the ending of St. Elsewhere?  One look at all the JOY! and OPTIMISM! that other people are feeling (see every single other Facebook status update), and I wonder why I don’t see signs of hope where everyone else does.

Take for example the love fest over Jennifer Lawrence.  It’s not that I don’t love her and her excellent performance in Silver Linings Playbook.  My issue? She’s being praised (rightfully so) for her anti-anorexia comments and has vowed that she will never diet or become a skinny minny for Hollywood.  (See here). So how come I am the only one who doesn’t believe her?  I want to, but I just don’t.

And it’s not that I think she is lying. I’ve been burned before by actresses (usually in their early 20’s) who swear they love themselves as they are with all their curves and promise that they won’t succumb to the siren call of starvation, and then BOOM! I am standing in the check-out line and there they are looking emaciated.  I’m not naming names but *cough* *cough* Christina Ricci *cough* Michelle Lea *cough*.  Of course in the attached interview, they simply tout their “new vegan diet” and thrice weekly Bikram yoga plan.  So, please forgive me if I think it’s a little soon to be worshiping at the altar of Jennifer Lawrence’s curves.

And what about this hullaballoo over the new Pope?  Yes, Pope Francis seems like a nice enough guy.  But the Argentines interviewed on NPR this morning were gushing with pride and praise over the newly-elected pontiff because “he’s a man of the people” and he will bring the church back to some semblance of glory and divine mission.  I hope that’s true.  Again, you will have to forgive my skepticism.  I am a little nervous about his record during Argentina’s Dirty Wars.  Moreover, I don’t know how one pontiff can correct the problems with the Catholic Church.  As I heard the cheers (and saw them on my Facebook feed), I wondered why I was so damn grouchy and refusing to celebrate along with everyone else, even if Pope Francis can’t fix it all.

What is this deep cynicism and where did it come from?  And those are my most relevant examples, but believe me my list of “NOT LIKE” is longer than your list of “LIKE”s.

Do I think the Today Show will ever recover from the Ann Curry debacle and regain ground from Good Morning America? No.

Do I think our country can address our relationship to guns and violence soon so that the deaths can stop already? Nope.

Do I think that recycling and hybrid cars can save the Earth?  Not so much.

Do I think that Jessica and Justin will go the distance? Not really.

Do you think the people from TED are going to call me to give a presentation on hope any time soon? No chance in hell.

Do I think the glass ceiling can be destroyed? Yeah, right.

Whither hope?

* * * *

This burst of cheer and good energy is brought to you by a mother who ran out of chocolate while her husband was away and her kids weren’t willing to sleep alone in their beds and whose fat jeans felt tight.

You’re welcome.


55 thoughts on “No, I Will Not Get Excited About The Pope Or Jennifer Lawrence

  1. I hate when even my fat jeans are tight. Ever the optimist, I still have a pair of “I was skinny enough for one day to fit in these pants, then not so skinny so they have never seen the light of day again” pants. Re: Pope. A high school friend said he was “concerned that the new pope’s views didn’t match his”, to which I responded ” there is no potential pope who will reflect and support my views: pro choice and birth control for anyone who wants it, ditto for marriage-same sex or opposite.” I like that he seems to be well grounded. While I know he will never come around to my way of thinking, I hope he can weed out the pedophiles and bad people in the church. If he could do something about North Korea, I would take that as well, since I don’t think Dennis Rodman is going to do much in that area.

    • Good point. If he leaves the American nuns alone, focuses on social justice for all people, and keeps the pedophiles from hurting any more children, I’ll vote for his reelection. Oh wait, that’s only for men.

  2. These desperate times call for stretchy pants and kick-ass shoes. And when Jennifer Lawrence gets as scrawny as Courtney Cox who once was regular-sized…I’ll tell everyone I know that the wise Outlaw Mama called this back in 2013. Some days are like this…even in Australia.

    • Yes, stretchy pants and Frye boots, right? Damn jeans from the dryer. I hope the ravishing Ms. Lawrence stays on the healthy train, but I fear for her. I think I am scarred from my experiences with Robert DOwney Jr too– so heartbreaking and I am totally not clear how it’s related other than it falls under the category of “Stars are human.”

  3. Christie, I wish we were closer. I would lend you my pants. Haha.

    Everyone is allowed to wear their sassy-pants from time to time. Don’t fret!!

  4. I only agreed to like J Law (has this nickname been said before? Can I claim ownership?) after I saw her wit during that post-Oscars interview video. Have you seen it? But I agree the likelihood she stays true to her word is slim. (pun!) Re: Today Show – Willie Geist is the future. If they bump him up into the main hours, there’s a chance. Re: Jessica and Justin – no way no how

  5. Ha! I like this post. Particularly your use of the word hullabaloo and the fact that you ended it with your welcome. Also, I’m cynical too.

  6. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt, why not? I tend, though, to disbelieve people who are vocally adamant about something because actions are more impressive than words. Plus, if you never say never it’s less of a let down if you do fail. As for the pope, well, I got nothing. Old white dude with the same damn thoughts as the rest of the old white dudes.

  7. I’m having an “even my fat jeans are tight” week too. I blame my period. As for the Pope I think it’s great that he’s a Jesuit, but it really should have been you. That producer who called really failed by not casting you. For realz.

  8. Join. The. Club.

    Never thought that being Nixon-born of Boomer parents might be the culprit. Love having someone new to blame, if not kick around.

    Poor Pope. Nobody expects the pedophile inquisition. Except the Catholic Church, because, well, they’ve known about it for decades.

    These days of which you write are exactly why I will never stop thinking grad school and tootsie rolls are the answer, nor wishing that I would try, just once, yoga and sleep for the answer.


  9. And anyway, Jennifer Lawrence IS thin!!! So, I’m only going to celebrate when someone with REAL curves goes on about the beauty of real curves and their resistance to Hollywood ideals of beauty. Give me a break. And you’re right – she could thin-ify at any moment…

  10. Stretchy pants! And JLaw? I am crushing on her hardcore, I cannot lie. (I’m in love with the gif on my latest blog post…) BUT – I’m with you on the skinny thing. It’ll happen for a role, or she’ll find some miracle diet, and then she’ll be a bobblehead just like the rest of Hollywood. But I’ll still love her. 🙂

  11. Facebook schmacebook. Although I’m addicted (mainly to Candy Crush Saga), honestly, it’s like a year-round holiday letter where every status is about how perfectly things are going. That’s why I only read it for the articles people post. lol

  12. I’ve been there for a long time. Yet, I am an extremely happy person at the same time. I don’t have any hope in people, this country or the world. I just live happily in my own little world and try to enjoy life.

    I have very low expectations and am rarely disappointed. This sounds really depressing, but I do alright.

  13. It’s hard to not be negative about a lot of that stuff. And then sometimes I’m wildly optimistic about dumb things like a new face lotion. Go figure. Either way, some nights, like tonight, I just want to lose myself in sugar and a good escapist book.

  14. High five for cynicism! I’m with you. Every time I celebrity couple splits up and everyone is all shocked I think, “Really? You REALLY thought they would stay together?” I’m never surprised.

  15. Sing it, sister. On the one hand, I like to think the best of people and assume everything will work splendidly for them and the universe. But, on the other, a little kernel of cynicism (okay, maybe pretty large and growing larger thanks to my affection for Reese’s peanut butter eggs) lies in my gut and spits Schadenfreude out at regular intervals.

    (This comment is brought to you by a woman who believed in Lance Armstrong waaay past his expiration date.)

  16. My fat jeans are so f***ing tight right now, I’m considering skipping lunch (and dinner and my evening wine) and just chewing gum all day. I am, however, excited about the Pope. You know, I’m still on the Catholic bus. I am also certain the TD folks will call you sooner rather than later because you are a brilliant writer and thinker!

    • See, for some reason, I love your excitement even though I am all cynical and sitting her with my jeans unbuttoned. I am glad you are on the Catholic bus…I am stuck in the train station not sure which bus is mine so I’ll be doing Passover and Easter this spring, but I digress.

      I am sure our jeans just shrunk.

      On Mon, Mar 18, 2013 at 11:30 AM, Outlaw Mama

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