Can We Get Real About Mother’s Day?

I don’t mean to go all Joan Rivers here, but let’s get one thing straight:

Mother’s Day is confusing, commercial and is a gigantic set up for my mommy’s-not-happy face.  My angst stems from the fact that I can’t tell if I am supposed to be actually mothering or if I should be taking a break and “getting away from it all.”


This isn’t a complaint about my husband either, because he’s willing to celebrate any way I want to.  The real problem is that I don’t know how want to or if I want to join in on Sunday’s festivities.

When asked about my idea vision for the day, here’s the first off-the-cuff answer I gave:

  • Let’s do the breast cancer 5K in the park as a family (start time: 8AM)
  • Grab some breakfast somewhere (as if that’s easy)
  • Naps for everyone (as if my 3.5-year old would tolerate that for a hot second)
  • Mommy gets some alone time to write (read: watch improbable animal videos on the web)
  • Delicious dinner as a family
  • Mad Men viewing

My second answer:

  • You all leave me alone all damn day

I’m not sure how it’s going to go this Sunday.  Hopefully, there will be a mix of mothering and getting a break from mothering, even if it’s just extra long trips to the loo.

For a further analysis of why I hate Mother’s Day, click yourself over to my post at Mom.Me and check out my new post.

What are you doing this Sunday?



43 thoughts on “Can We Get Real About Mother’s Day?

  1. Mother’s Day is tricky. My gut instinct is that I want to be sent to a hotel alone, but my children are so excited about celebrating WITH me that I can’t ask for that. I have heard hushed conversations taking place, so we shall see what transpires! No matter what, I will do best to enjoy it…while probably secretly wishing I was watching hours of TiVo.-Ashley

    • I may celebrate officially on another day, like Saturday. Where, oopsie, I scheduled a massage at a fancy place. They can do whatever they want on Sunday. I’ll be all chilled.

  2. That piece was so funny and true! I have had very similar issues with Mother’s Day — I need to write the story about my very first mother’s day when Ian took over bedtime and I went to a yoga class. The class was fantastic and I was on cloud 9 — until I fell down the stairs on the way out. Yeah, I ended up in the hospital and on crutches. And it hasn’t gotten better since then. This year Ian said he wanted us all to go to a pottery painting place so the kids could make me something and all I could think was how much shit C would break and what I was going to do with those ugly flower pots. I don’t blame him — it just feels like a holiday where I can’t win.

  3. It’s just going to be a regular old Sunday for me. Unless the cats learn how to make breakfast and serve it to me in bed. 😉

  4. Why do men get golf games and barbeques in celebration of Father’s Day, and we moms get a half-assed breakfast with a hefty dose of guilt (for those who choose to spend the day sans family) and frustration (for those who spend it with their families)? We can’t win.

    My husband works on the weekends so there will be no fancy schmancy brunch for me. Instead, I will be home alone with my almost-3 year old daughter all day, without a car, until dinner time. I better get a nice dinner and a massage out of the deal, or else he’s getting left alone to watch our daughter all day on Father’s Day 😉

  5. We were never hugely into celebrating mothers and fathers day in my family. We usually just had a bbq at night, and called it a day. I am in NY now, and my parents are in Pittsburgh, so mothers day now consists of flowers, phone calls, and bbqs with my in-laws. At least I get an awesome dinner out of the whole deal.

  6. I agree – MD is a big set up. I vote for alone time in the loo. Maybe our hubs could fix up our bathrooms with cushy armchairs and footstools. And blankets and snacks. Or we could just go to a spa. My ideal Mom’s Day (as of today) is doing whatever I want without a schedule, being with my kids and hubs when I want to and not feeling guilty when I don’t want to. And a hike somewhere pretty (no whining allowed). And some pasta. Off to

  7. I have no idea. We’re supposed to be helping my recently widowed mother-in-law (whom I adore) hang new doors in her house. Saturday is our very last ever wedding anniversary and Sunday is Mother’s Day. Just like the year we were married. And who knows if my hubby can get his head out of his ass long enough to do something nice for me on behalf of our kids. I suspect not…

    • He’s so on my shit list. Happy to hear you like your mom in law. And as for your wedding anniversary, I’ll be thinking of you. I wish I could bring you a pot roast and some grilled veggies and some chick flix.

      Better days are ahead. I swear I believe that.

      • Yes, better days are ahead. Just wish I didn’t have to live through the suck first. And my MIL is totally amaze-balls. So amaze-balls that I used amaze-balls for the first time ever to describe her. I plan to keep her as a friend forever, even if her son has lost his mind.

  8. I’ll spend it with my Mom. My son will likely have made some pottery-type thing in Preschool that will inevitably make me cry. I’d like to have a glass of wine (or three), but I’m pregnant, so that’s out. I’ve gotten the Mother’s Day (and birthday – today) short straw for several years because it falls right at the end of the semester while my husband works on his Master’s. I’d like to say it doesn’t matter anymore and mean it, but that would be a big, fat lie. It sucks.

  9. This will be my 4th Mother’s Day. The last 3 have all been not-good. I am trying to just not think about it, honestly. And I’m really going to have to avoid FB. I don’t really want to be inundated by everyone’s pictures of breakfast in bed and spa treatments. I hate it.

  10. I’m opting out this year & going to Florida with a friend. I’ll be back for dinner on Sunday. It’s new for me. Wish me luck.

  11. Mother’s day is definitely not my favorite, since I don’t have a mom, and am not a mom. I have learned to just stay home and get things done around the house, because anywhere I go in public, I’m surrounded by Mother’s day. And I definitely don’t begrudge people from celebrating it, I just know my limits.

    I have heard of moms wanting to take the day to themselves to get a break, and I’ve also heard of those that want to do things as a family. And I’ve also heard both sides judging each other, which is incredibly silly. You should definitely celebrate it however you see fit, without guilt. I hope you have a lovely day on Sunday, no matter what you choose!

    • You’re such a gem. I know lots of people conflicted about the day. How silly to juddge someone else. I’d rather use that extra energy for self pity!

  12. First off milk it for what u can get (a glass of water perhaps rather than getting it urself, no rebuttals on honey dos and whatever feels organically good. But I will be at a softball tourney all Saturday. This year it will be about pride in seeing kids succeed on a select team. Other years its about sleeping ….a lot. Best one was when I had a 6 mo and 2 yr old. David insisted on a sat night date. Was exhausted and he wanted to go to dinner after the movie. Got to the restaurant and he said I have a hotel room upstairs for u and you alone. The curtains are drawn and the do not disturb sign is up and I want you to go up there and sleep until we come and get you for the jazz brunch at house of blues and then go swimming. I cried I was so happy and tired. First full night sleep I had in two years. It was heaven!! Mother’s Day without kids or expectations and then family time. Awesome.

  13. I. Hate. Mother’s Day.
    I want happy family and casual bonding. I want smiles and homemade gifts and cuddles.
    I get screaming and hitting and regular day nonsense, as though the kids and Spouse haven’t gotten the memo. I wind up cleaning and cooking and fuming that I’m not celebrated. And single. And alone and rich and…
    Oh, wait. It’s just a made-up holiday, not a magic wand?
    Whatever. I still hate it.

  14. Pingback: Blogging my book idea: Do you hate Mother’s Day? | Woman, in Progress...

  15. Pingback: Mother’s Day Gift Ideas | Adventures's Blog

  16. Can someone please remind my husband and kids that Sunday is Mother’s Day? Pretty sure they will just forget. And I want them to all just get along. For one day. That’ll be all.

  17. However you spend it have a great time. Not being a big fan of mothers day I can’t say its a FAV holiday of mine, but I do salute any mom who has children who want to celebrate her; its a sign you did (are doing) something right. Enjoy

  18. Pingback: Blogging my book idea: Do you hate Mother's Day? | Angie Mabry-Nauta

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