I’ll Never Be Lorelai Gilmore

She shaped my ideal for motherhood.  I loved everything about her– her hair, her eyes, her smirk, and her quick wit.  I could never get over how she could talk so much and make me want to listen to every word, even the ones I didn’t understand.

How did she know so much about pop culture?

I was going to be just like her.

I was going to grow my hair long and somehow replicate her flawless ivory skin.  I would be sarcastic and ironic and have a half smile that would melt everyone’s heart when I goofed up.  I would buy my boots at the thrift store and eat dinner at the local diner where we’d know all the people.  My daughter would lift the glass top of the doughnut dish and help herself to one with chocolate glaze and sprinkles (and then my offspring would end up at Yale because my rapid-fire verbal skills prepared them for Ivy education).

Like her, I was going to befriend all the quirky people in my town even though I live in a gigantic urban city and my neighborhood is up and coming so befriending “quirky” outsiders might get me killed.  I’m also married to the father of my daughter. Oh, and I have a son.  And my parents aren’t rich, East Coast bluebloods.

But none of the differences were going to stop me. No-Sir-Eeee.

What stopped me was my actual motherhood.  I let go of trying to make my skin glow like hers during pregnancy.  All that acne felt like a sign. You’ll never be Lorelai. My hair grew long, but it was stringy so I looked like a greaser.  My kids both love sprinkled doughnuts but we don’t get them at Luke’s Diner; we get doughnut holes at Costco spend the next 10 days fighting about who will get the biggest one.

Still, I’ve used her as a north star in my parenting.  I cram a ton of dialogue– all of it witty and sharp– into every conversation at home.  Usually I am talking about myself or spewing random facts about Willie Nelson (“he’s a black belt in karate” and “he’s covered Kermit the Frog’s Rainbow Connection”).  No one listens, but I know that each one is an homage to my favorite fictional mama.

I’ll never be Lorelai, but a part of me will keep trying.  Forever.

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29 thoughts on “I’ll Never Be Lorelai Gilmore

  1. I’m single, so maybe… Of course, I have a boy and not a girl. We live in an urban city, although not “in town,” we do have a little community. Keepin’ the dream alive! Inspired to go watch some reruns. 🙂

  2. This is one of my all-time favorite shows. Once I knew I was having a boy, I knew I’d never be L (but maybe I still try a little). Being a Lorelai would be great, but what I really wish is that I could be a Rory and have a Lorelai for a mom. There’s no hope for that one at all.

  3. As a singe mom who LOVES Lorelai and dreams of her daughter growing up to be Rory, I love just love this blog! Don’t worry, event high I have a few more similarities to her, reality sinks in and I still know I’ll ever be as cool or as awesome. :-/

  4. I watch an episode of GG every single day. I DVR a rerun on ABC Family every weekday at 11am so it’s waiting for me when I get home. Lorelai is about to give Luke the ultimatum and I am so anxious to watch it tonight that you would think I haven’t seen this episode approximately 89 times before. I dream of spouting pop culture references in quippy dialogue like the Gilmores. I also, on occasion, wish I could eat like them too and not weigh a million pounds.

  5. We all need a north star mom role model. I think that for me, just having one, or many in my case, makes me a teeny bit better as a parent than I would be either – even thought I will NEVER fit the ideal!

  6. I strive every day to remember “WWLD?” I also have all 7 seasons on dvd- my gift to myself for raising 2 “Rorys”!

    My biggest compliment? Having a checker at our grocery store tell my eldest & me that we reminded her of the GGs!! Yes! Score!

  7. LOL… both Gilmore Girls do have such amazing skin. I had so much acne during pregnancy that I felt like I was 15 again, and not in a good way.
    I didn’t actually watch GG much… my go-to show for quirky witty dialogue was Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

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