5 Things I Won’t Complain About This Summer

New leaf? Turned over.  That’s why I won’t be complaining this summer.  If you are looking for a rant, then look elsewhere, because I am all about sunshine and dew-drenched daffodils these days.   While I am super busy not complaining about anything this summer, I still had time to make a list . . . of all the grumbles you won’t hear outta me.

Mmmm. Picnic.  Image credit: www.github.com

Mmmm. Picnic. Image credit: http://www.github.com

  1. Bugs.  I won’t complain about the ant and mosquito bites that make it a challenge to maintain my professional composure during the day.  I was just trying to take a picture of my kid playing T-ball, and my reward was an ankle ringed with bug bites.  I wonder if my boss enjoys watching me scratch my left ankle with my right toe?
  2. Picnics. No one loves picnics more than my husband.  Dining al fresco to him is what a Tory Burch outlet sale is to me.  Heaven.  In years past, I have mentioned in a quiet and not-at-all-annoying way that I hate eating outdoors. Why? He asks.  Well, the wind blows my hair into my food and the big gusts blow parts of my meal away.  The non-ergonomic seating hurts my back and my ass and then there’s the bug thing and how the kids are impossible to corral.  But this year, I am all smiles as I crouch on the semi-wet ground, gripping my corn on the cob and eating potato salad with my hands (because we always forget forks).   This summer, I don’t even care if you use picnic as a verb.  Go for it! I love picnics! 
  3. Tourists.  Today, I embrace every single visitor to my fine city.  Even the ones whose fanny packs are bigger than my thighs (which are smushed together and dripping with sweat), which make it impossible to get around.  Hell, I am even sending love and light to that family of five who walked down State street, a giant horizontal barrier of good old-fashioned family strolling.  Did they get in my way as I was speed walking to work? Yes, actually, they did.  But I’ll admit I enjoyed their Rain Forest Cafe bags and comfortable walking shoes.  Everyone should start her day with a slice of Americana.
  4.  Rallies on the Plaza.  My office overlooks a plaza that is a popular summer destination for pan flutists and people who like to chant in support of their causes.  My favorite was the group whose them song was Gangam Style.  That was a long afternoon, people.  But instead of burning up energy kvetching about how public demonstrations make it hard for me to concentrate on my Very Important Work, I am looking forward to the next time a vocal group of citizens plans a rally.  Gosh, I hope it’s on a day when I have to do some math or translate middle English.  I love a challenge!
  5. Sweat.  I am super tempted to rant about how much I hate breast sweat and the more southernly sweat that makes summer feel like such a pain in the ass.  I won’t though– no complaining about the fact that it’s not fair that people with more flesh have a greater cross to bear during the high perspiration months.

It’s going to be a long and peaceful summer. 

What are you NOT complaining about these days?


39 thoughts on “5 Things I Won’t Complain About This Summer

  1. This is so hilarious and inspiring! I think I”ll start celebrating those moments when I’m about to pass out on my bike from the 90+ heat and humidity. I can’t wait for those headaches and dizzy spells! I can’t wait for my face to become a human windshield when the bugs go splat on it while I’m speeding downhill!

    • Ah, the human windshield! I love it. And as for biking, I’ma add the trips to the ER to pick up my friends who’ve been injured on their bikes. “Yeah, a chance to fear my friends’ mortality and to hang out in a hospital.” Plus, free bandages!

  2. Ha – I love it! I especially adored the love and light you sent to that horizontal barrier of a family. We don’t have bugs in NYC (now that I think about it, that’s disturbing and makes me wonder about the chemical content of our air) and I’m sorry to say I’m with Jeff on the al fresco dining. The rest, though? I am so not complaining right there with you!!! The rallies would be far more tolerable if they sounded like the riff off in Pitch Perfect. ❤

  3. Oh, the lovely mosquito. Nature’s gift of anemia and blood-borne pathogens! We’ve had some up here in ND this year that are so large, I think I saw one with a tick stuck on it’s back…

    Not complaining, mind you. Merely a fascinated scientific observation.

  4. I will not complain about the heat (but I never do so that’s a given). I will not complain about the cicadas (because they never came). I sprayed myself with Off! in my house the other day BECAUSE MOSQUITOES ARE THE DEVIL. I have nothing else. I complain. I’m good at it. (But I do notice that I’m in more of an “eh, screw it” mode lately.

    • Eh screw it can be great, but also it can mean that I am drowning in depression. I hope yours just means you are reaching that Zen peace spot.

      On Wed, Jun 26, 2013 at 10:42 AM, Outlaw Mama

  5. Ugh tourists. Midtown Manhattan is dreadful this time of year too. I can barely walk out of my office for lunch without getting asked for directions a million times or getting caught up in a massive school group trying to locate Central Park or something.

  6. I will NOT complain about the BENY’s – even if it kills me (the tourists that invade the local areas where I live on the Jersey Shore – Bergen-Essex-New York is what I think its stands for.). They sound a lot like those 5 across tourists that invade State Street.

    Speaking of invading your city, will I be seeing you at Blogher next month???

  7. I will complain loudly and often about the sweat thing. My Home Depot is not known for it’s awesome air conditioning. So I come home from work drenched in sweat daily. To the point that even my pants are all over damp. Cool showers are my best friend.

    • Can you stand in front of one of the big Home Depot fans? I used to do that at my old job…park myself in front of the fan, which was awkward because it wasn’t where my desk was!

      • I usually try to get the one register with the good fan. They all have fans, but the register I like has the GOOD fan. It’s a big industrial one and if I put it any higher than low, it’s too cold. 😉 Consequently, it’s also the busiest register in my store, so I almost never have to leave my beloved fan! Woo! (The break room, however, is another – swelteringly hot – story altogether!

  8. i have to complain about the bugs. i can’t help myself. but i definitely won’t complain about living at the baseball field, my hair poodled out on humidity, sunblocking my squirmy children, or ice cream that melts too fast. on that my lips are sealed.

    • Trying to sunscreen my children is like a joke. Somehow me screaming at skin cancer does not get through to them.

      On Wed, Jun 26, 2013 at 10:16 PM, Outlaw Mama

  9. Right there with you on the sweat and eating outside – whomever invented both should not be shot or made to put sunscreen on my kids because I’m joining you in not complaining. At least for today. My family won’t recognize me! Hear the wish?! xo

  10. I am going to IMMEDIATELY stop complaining about my 3 wk vacation to the beach in South Carolina! Why am I complaining? Because it is going to be HOT! Well, of course it will be hot, it’s summer time. ( And if there is 1 mosquito it will bite my sweet blood 100 times! And, this pregnant mama will be sweating and will probably have swollen ankles at just 20 wks!) I will start being grateful today. And I will enjoy the 18 hour trip with a 3 yr old while you are sitting in your front yard eating popsicles!! Serioulsy, thank you for the reminder that I need an attitude of gratitude!

  11. Wish I could say I’ll join you on #1, but after I found the gnarliest bug inside my pant leg?!? All bets are off. Needless to say I made a lovely spectacle of myself in front of Union Station (imagine a woman grabbing the fabric of her trousers in the upper-thigh region, walking sideways – that was me). But I didn’t scream, so I consider it a small victory.

  12. You are so funny! I will still complain about bugs, but I’m NOT complaining about rain! I used to hate it when it rained in the summer. Now I’m so happy that i don’t have to water the yard as much and it’s a bit cooler than normal. That was a cool MC youtube commercial btw. I want to do what they did!

    • I agree on the rain. I miss the sunshine but getting a break from the heat and the pressure to do something fun is so nice!

      On Thu, Jun 27, 2013 at 12:26 PM, Outlaw Mama

  13. What is this “not complaining” thing you speak of? I think if I stopped complaining for too long my brain would actually explode. But good for you, because people who complain are totally annoying 🙂

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