“Oh yes, we will eat all of the food in this house before we move.”
That’s the new catch phrase at my house. Some families have headier missions, like reducing its carbon footprint or saying the rosary every night. Others skew more towards entertainment and have catch phrases like Bingeing on Scooby Doo One Episode at a Time or We Think Used Egg Cartons Make Fun Costumes.
We are moving in three weeks, so our aim is to reduce the amount of new stuff coming into the house we are packing up. Apparently that includes groceries.
While I was generally following Jeff’s edict that we shouldn’t buy any new crap, I didn’t take it quite as literally as he did. I made a pretty big mistake at Trader Joe’s the other day. I bought some peanut butter. For the kids’ lunches. Yes, it was organic and sugar-free, but I felt his withering stare when he discovered it, because WE ALREADY HAD PEANUT BUTTER IN THE PANTRY. I just didn’t see it when I was making the grocery list.
I won’t be making that mistake again.
Because I refuse to go to the grocery store again while I am a resident of our current address. I am going to show Jeff that I am following our plan.
This morning before work, I dug deep into our freezer and found something to thaw out for dinner. My kids are going to turn on me tonight when I serve them 2 oz of beef brisket (from a Hanukkah before they were conceived), a freezer burnt Trader Joe’s burrito and for dessert: ice chips! They will probably try to kill me in my sleep.
But that’s nothing compared to what will go down next week when I turn my attention to the canned goods in that little cabinet with shelves that spin around. Let’s just say that I went through a significant black bean phase that involved me buying cases of them at Costco this winter. That’s going to be ugly, especially because I still have a child in diapers.
There will eventually be tuna casserole and whatever recipe I can find that uses 238 ounces of tomato sauce. I have a few stalks of celery that I will ration among us so we don’t contract scurvy. For fruit servings we have raisins, strawberry preserves, and popsicles (which are 9% juice).
I’m totally gonna do it, ya’ll. I’m going to use every single drop of food in my house or die trying. Which very well may happen when I serve my family a leftover breastmilk smoothie on moving day.