Outlaw Mama’s Moving Tips

My bedroom.  Say what you will about McDonald's, their boxes are clean and sturdy.

My bedroom. Say what you will about McDonald’s, their boxes are clean and sturdy.

Have I mentioned that we undertook a move this summer? We did and I would be remiss if I failed to offer my pro tips for moving with your small children in tow.  If you take nothing else away, please take this: You know that closet where you stash all of the toys that you bought for cheap at TJ Maxx and plan to give to the next child that invites your kid to a birthday party?  Ok.  Get a pencil.  Write this down.  DO NOT PACK THAT CLOSET in front of your kids.  Because they are going to want those presents.  They will have a zillion questions about why there is a Spiderman puzzle in the closet just sitting there waiting to be assembled.

Yep, letting my kids see that stash was the biggest mistake I made this whole summer.

Other than that, moving is a giant pain in the wazoo so my second tip is just don’t do it.  Stay where you are.  Don’t like your commute? Suck it up.  Don’t like your neighborhood? Stay and let your light shine, making it a better place.  Transferred for work? Get a new job.

If that sage advice fails, then try the other tips I offer here at Mom.me.  One more hint: Don’t give your 2-year old a Sharpie and ask him to label boxes.


23 thoughts on “Outlaw Mama’s Moving Tips

  1. You don’t even have to move to heed this advice — I HATE it when my kids spy a future gift for them or a party gift for their friends. No amount of explaining ever helps them really get it. Not at this age!

  2. Oooh, the dreaded toy stash reveal! No way to get out of that one! But if that’s your biggest summer mistake, you’re golden! Now that you’re in your new place, hope you can breath again soon!

  3. Or move into a travel trailer. When you need to move, just hitch up and go. Unpacking is a snap because you never really packed up to begin with 🙂 So nice to pull up, put the jacks and awning out and make a cup of tea – all “moved in” within an hour or so.

  4. Cracking up over here! I have never tried to move with small children. I’m half hoping we stay put until they’re old enough to haul boxes – and too old to care about a toy stash!

  5. We moved a few years ago and we shall not do it again for a long, long time.
    What helped us was a storage closet, and then we were able to pack up in stages. There is no commute nor employment for us on disability. We let our light shine plenty in our past neighborhood, where the children ran through that apartment complex like wild animals, who would vandalize anything within their reach if you dared to scold them. Even the apartment manager told my father brusquely (when he tried to be polite to them) that they would be nice to your face but say “fuck you” when you turned your back.

  6. Congratulations! I cannot even fathom the feat you and J pulled off this weekend . . . much less finding time, energy and brain power to write! Bravo all around. Can’t wait to see your new pad.

  7. We picked up boxes from the liquor store (also very strong boxes). My then-young daughter opened one that still had the cardboard dividers in it to prevent the bottles from rubbing against each other and exclaimed, “Look, a Barbie box!”

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