There’s a lot of talk on the interwebs these days about friendship. If you read blogs, you probably know a blogger who is featured in the anthology about women friendships, HerStories. Many wonderful women whom I adore are featured in there (see ’em here) and because I am a very good person, I am 99% thrilled for them and only 1% pea-green with envy that I am not a part of that collection. (Hashtag devastated, hashtag ExtraTherapy).
Anyway, I think about friendship all the damn time these days, in part, because I have so little free time that the friendship slice of my life pie has been whittled away. I’m not enjoying this friendship diet, but I’m not sure of a way around it. I have two small children, a job, a blog, a manuscript, an exercise compulsion, and a marriage. (Not in that order, Honey. Love you!) The snippets of time to call a friend or grab a quick lunch have disappeared into the haze of the mundane mechanics of my life. I have no idea how to change that.
And I’ve always been a little anxious about female friendship. I had some unfortunate experiences in fifth grade that atrophied my trust muscles. As an adult, I’ve spent too long in friendships that weren’t working. I’ve chased friendship with the wrong people (men and women) for misguided reasons, while ignoring friendship gems right under my nose. I’ve also come to terms with the truth about myself: that true intimacy with another person is messy and makes me feel vulnerable, and honestly, sometime it’s easier to just be alone.
The latest wrinkle in my friendship musings is projecting all my fears and anxieties on my kids. Will they have friends? Will they be life-long? Will they inherit my relationship idiosyncrasies? WILL THEY HAVE BFFs? And if they don’t, is it my fault?
My worries for them are wasted because Simon has a BFF that he met on his very first day of school, and Sadie has also declared she has a best friend: herself, which is a better answer than I could have ever hoped for.
If you are having a slow Friday, pop over to Mom.me to read my post about my daughter’s take on BFFs. As usual, I have a lot to learn from that little lady.