New leaf? Turned over. That’s why I won’t be complaining this summer. If you are looking for a rant, then look elsewhere, because I am all about sunshine and dew-drenched daffodils these days. While I am super busy not complaining about anything this summer, I still had time to make a list . . . of all the grumbles you won’t hear outta me.
- Bugs. I won’t complain about the ant and mosquito bites that make it a challenge to maintain my professional composure during the day. I was just trying to take a picture of my kid playing T-ball, and my reward was an ankle ringed with bug bites. I wonder if my boss enjoys watching me scratch my left ankle with my right toe?
- Picnics. No one loves picnics more than my husband. Dining al fresco to him is what a Tory Burch outlet sale is to me. Heaven. In years past, I have mentioned in a quiet and not-at-all-annoying way that I hate eating outdoors. Why? He asks. Well, the wind blows my hair into my food and the big gusts blow parts of my meal away. The non-ergonomic seating hurts my back and my ass and then there’s the bug thing and how the kids are impossible to corral. But this year, I am all smiles as I crouch on the semi-wet ground, gripping my corn on the cob and eating potato salad with my hands (because we always forget forks). This summer, I don’t even care if you use picnic as a verb. Go for it! I love picnics!
- Tourists. Today, I embrace every single visitor to my fine city. Even the ones whose fanny packs are bigger than my thighs (which are smushed together and dripping with sweat), which make it impossible to get around. Hell, I am even sending love and light to that family of five who walked down State street, a giant horizontal barrier of good old-fashioned family strolling. Did they get in my way as I was speed walking to work? Yes, actually, they did. But I’ll admit I enjoyed their Rain Forest Cafe bags and comfortable walking shoes. Everyone should start her day with a slice of Americana.
- Rallies on the Plaza. My office overlooks a plaza that is a popular summer destination for pan flutists and people who like to chant in support of their causes. My favorite was the group whose them song was Gangam Style. That was a long afternoon, people. But instead of burning up energy kvetching about how public demonstrations make it hard for me to concentrate on my Very Important Work, I am looking forward to the next time a vocal group of citizens plans a rally. Gosh, I hope it’s on a day when I have to do some math or translate middle English. I love a challenge!
- Sweat. I am super tempted to rant about how much I hate breast sweat and the more southernly sweat that makes summer feel like such a pain in the ass. I won’t though– no complaining about the fact that it’s not fair that people with more flesh have a greater cross to bear during the high perspiration months.
It’s going to be a long and peaceful summer.
What are you NOT complaining about these days?