Tag Archive | wood cock

Introducing My Spirit Animal

Last night, I was bone-ass tired in the way I get when Jeff’s out of town and my kids have had too much sugar. So naturally, instead of going to bed, I tried to get in touch with my spirit animal.  Only problem? I am not sure which animal is my spirit animal.

All summer, I obsessed over my spirit animal.  Having never been much of an animal lover (more of an “animal tolerate-r”), I thought getting in touch with my spirit animal might make me more gentle or spiritual or in tune with nature. Maybe I would be less of a shrew to my kids, since they act like animals most of the time.

Plus, it might help me become more vegan if I could connect with the right animal.

I took a few on-line quizzes that purported to identify my spirit animal.  One of them said my animal was the hawk, which I rejected because hawks are too aggressive. (See war hawk; I am more of a dove, and I would consider the phoenix for the symbolic potential, but no hawks.)  Also, I think hawks look like buzzards.

I knew I needed more cuddle potential out of my animal.

Another quiz said my animal was a wood cock.  Seriously.  I am supposed to connect with a wood cock?  For obvious reasons, I went back to the drawing board after that quiz.  (Can you picture me ambling into a Cracker Barrel perusing the gift shop for a statuesque wood cock? I bet the only place I can find a statue of a wood cock (which looks like a stupid little duck (see why animals love me?)) is at an adult bookstore in downtown Detroit.)

Wood cock was out.

Prior to taking the quizzes, I rejected the following animals based on a simple distaste and/or disdain for them:

  • Albatross
  • Platypus
  • Starfish (not sure that’s really an animal)
  • Parrot
  • Hyena (though this one probably belongs on my short list judging by my laughter)
  • Beaver (we’re just not going there)

Here’s the runners-up list:

  • Hippo (because big mouth)
  • Domesticated pot belly big (because how cute?)
  • Sheep (I read they have no teeth and that sounded cool, plus I like wool)
  • Camel (hydration is a challenge for me)
  • Flamingo (because pink and skinny legs)

But, it came to me the other day at a make-shift petting zoo in downtown Chicago. I locked eyes with an animal forced to stand in a 4 ft x 4 ft pen so that little city children could feed her pellets of food.  We had a connection– I looked into her eyes as I was dousing myself with hand sanitizer– and it was clear.

My spirit animal is the Llama.

Llama Llama-- my spirit animal

Llama Llama– my spirit animal

Llamas are very social creatures that are also very intelligent. (Hello? Chuck Woolery, we have a connection!)  They are great pack animals and stick together in herds.  And those eyelashes.  Are you kidding me? I can’t believe I missed it all these years of reading those Llama Llama books with my children.

This is the first step of my spiritual enlightenment.  I feel really good about connecting with the animal kingdom through the llama.  So please don’t offer me any llama burgers or llama-fajitas, because I am not eating my spirit animal.

Have you spent valuable time and resources discovering your spirit animal? Is your animal memorialized as a figurine in Cracker Barrel’s holiday collection?

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